Yet another year.

back when i was still a little kid, the tiniest, littlest, most banal of things would be sufficient enough to amuse and entertain me.

one such occasion that i can think of is the great air-conditioner. i used to sleep in my parents' room when i was little and there was this air-cond set. it was some weird sort-of dark swampy green, and it made a lot of noise, AND it had no remote controls...just a little control box with one green button to start it up and a red button to stop. to adjust the temperature, you'd have to climb up to the set itself and manually twist the dial-buttons. occasionally, it'd flood my balcony too...because the hose was so cracked that water just spills out.

yep..it was THAT old.

everytime my dad announced that he'd be "turning on the air-cond tonight", i'd go into fits and frenzies. see...being able to sleep with the air-cond on was a BIG thing for me. it was fun. it was exciting. it was COOL (no pun intended). i'd jump into bed with my Pampers on (protection la, see? and i don't think there was Huggies then) and snuggle under my comforter and lay with eyes wide open...listening to the sounds emitted by that old cranky machine.

and like Pete Doherty on crack, i'd be addicted to it. i WANTED the air-cond to be, possibly, turned on every single night. andy used to sleep with the air-cond on EVERY night and i'd tell him how lucky he was...

"waaahh...you sleep with air-cond every night ar??"

sheer awe.

anyway, years rolled by and now i don't really care too much about air-conds anymore. the humble green air-cond though, it's still there, sitting in my parents' room. it does it's job. it hasn't serviced me for about 10 years now though..(haha..somehow that sounded a bit wrong).. but i still have fond memories of it. it's unassuming, see? but it still played a vital role in my life.

very much so like my (home) country.

you're so accustomed to it that you hardly know it's there..you do not register its presence. you may even sometimes take it for granted. just like the humble green air-cond set.

but, if you ever find yourself in a foreign country, maybe...JUST maybe...you might hear yourself echoing such sentiments...

there's no place like home.
damn right.

Selamat Hari Merdeka, guys!

Things aren't looking too good.

Tonight, i just can't be stuffed to organise my points into nice neat sentences with appropriate conjunctions or whatever those english grammar kids call it these days...therefore it shall all be resolved in bullet form.

• it's been so long since i last walked down George St to get back to the bus that i forgot how lethal the air there really is...carbon dioxide concentration in the air is about a million parts per million. add to that the cigarette smoke being liberally pumped into the already saturated air by conscientious sydney-siders and you've got your fast-forward ticket to lung cancer.
• i've been doing reports, posters, presentations for the whole of last week and through to the weekend up till today. this blows.
• i've only watched 3 hours of television throughout the ordeal...i feel like crying.
• the Plant students got a surprise from our lecturer today...we were told to hand in a report which was supposedly due on thursday, TODAY. thank god for my acute sense of urgency and also a handy pendrive in my bag.
• I've only had 3 meals since monday...Dinner-Breakfast-Dinner...reasons being that i've been way too busy to eat and frankly, too damn tired to even bother...D-B-D was just to show The Family that i was still, at least to them, eating normally. Hah.
• i've been so tired this past week...my eyes are dry. bone-dry. i stubbed my toe against the table today and the pain was the tear-inducing kind...and nothing came out.
• every morning when i board the bus to get to uni, i pass out against the window.
  
• every evening when i board the bus to get back to Cherrybrook, i pass out against the window.
• when people ask me how's uni...i tell them that it's all good...actually, it's not. it sucks.
  
• i really need a drink now...a shot of tequila...or a tall glass of vodka...or a nice cold Hoegaarden.
  

Haha. the only consolation that i have now is knowing that the end of Week 6 is drawing nearer and nearer. and there's dashboard confessional to ber-emo at.

Another scientific moment

There are many ways to be cruel. Kicking sand on to your mom's border plants is one way.

Dislodging a sea urchin from its natural habitat, transferring it into a lab, then injecting 2ml of KCl into each of its 5 arms to induce muscle spasms and forced spawning and finally finishing it off by ramming the sharp bit of your sharp-blunt scissors into its ventral side and cutting all around the periphery of its mouth and ripping it away to extract its Aristotle lantern is another way.

Sounds complicated?

That's alright. Here's a step-by-step guide to dissecting your own sea urchin. Comes in handy when you've stepped onto one whilst snorkelling in Redang and just dying to wreck some vengeance as a payback for that excruciating pain flaring up from the soles of your feet.

Yea...take that you little ball of thorns.

What you'll need:



A pair of sharp-blunt dissecting scissors.
A syringe containing approximately 10ml of KCl
A sea-urchin

Step 1:
Flip the sea urchin so that its oral surface is facing up. Inject 2 ml of KCl solution into each arm using a syringe.



Step 2:
Position sea urchin (oral side up) over a beaker of seawater and wait for spawning to begin. Collect the gametes in the beaker as it will exit from the anus.



Step 3:
Remove the sea urchin and still maintaining the oral-side-up position, ram the sharp edge of your sharp-blunt scissors into the urchin and cut along the dotted lines.



Step 4:
Dislodge Aristotle's Lantern from urchin. (n.b. Aristotle's Lantern is part of the urchin involved in maceration of food and mobilisation of muscles around the mouth...highly sought after by marine biologists)



And there you have it. 4 easy steps. Now anyone can dissect a sea urchin.

Some of you may be asking why there's no longer photos of the real dissections this year. Well..let's just say things got messier. And my Olympus may be all-weather...but getting urchin poo etc on it is just not cool.

And yes...i DID feel sorry for the little critter. Actually, stabbing it to death was the more humane choice, because with the KCl injected in to them, they lose control of their muscles and would've died a slow and painfully excruciating death anyway...they can't eat, can't breathe, can't reproduce.

But, there you go. Just in case you ever wondered how to dissect a sea-urchin, it's actually not that hard.

Thank you thank you.

I shall now proceed to be an eternal slave to Plant Physiology and Anatomy.

Watch out for Pele.

Just a quick post to highlight the fact that Miss Elaine Yap Yee Leng

Heiress to the great Wing Television and Services Enterprise
Honoured graduate from the American Degree Programme Taylor's College
Celebrated alumni of Sekolah Menengah Jalan Bukit Kajang
Captain of the Basketball Team, 2003
Owner of a superb Yamaha drumset, in-house koi pond and Kia Atos

is, at this very moment, on a plane bound for the University of Hawaii, United States of America.

damn lucky biyatch...we won't be seeing each other for awhile. remember to tapau one islander for me, ok?




yes...i'm too cheap-ass to spend the amount of money that her status in society DEMANDS to buy her a farewell gift...hence...the ever-ready home-made photo album. looks familiar to a couple of others..ey? yea...i was cheap-ass then too.

but you guys LOVED it dincha?

No adversaries here.

[EDIT] : Yes, my thing was indeed published in the papers...and No, I didn't get the $50.00...celaka...it went to another piece. and BLOODY HELL...the staff were really diligent in downsizing butchering my piece to about 1-2 short little paragraphs which I do not care to mention now.

I am disillusioned.

Ok...so this is how the story goes:

Monday morning, girl sits in front of computer in library. Girl visits The Star Online for the very first time. Girl sees headlines stating that the UMNO Youth group gave the green light to its members to burn Israeli/American/British flags as a sign of displeasure to the senseless bombings on Lebanon. Girl laughs. Then, girl get riled and feels the need to vent her spleen because girl thinks that the suggestions is one that reeks of immaturity and childishness.

Then, girl thinks. How best to vent her spleen and target a greater audience than the one generated by "White is the new Black"? Girl ponders. Why not do it on the blog offered by the Star Online peeps? Good good. But girl notices that the post is not immediately shown...it has to undergo scrutiny by the staff of The Star before it is given the all-clear. Never mind, girl has patience.

Later in the night, girl checks back on the site to see if the post is up. KNN! Her masterpiece is not there! CB..don't tell her the staff of The Star is, at this very moment, sending her home address to the ISA to report her for disturbing the racial harmony of Malaysia??

Girl then writes a lengthy post intended to be published on her own blog...very articulate, would have also been another masterpiece except that there can't be two masterpieces, hence it was relegated to the rank of semi-masterpiece. But before she could publish it, the deities whom Bill Gates pray to decides to thwart her...her laptop crashes.

*curses ensues*

Girl gives up and goes to sleep.

Jeng jeng jeng...there you have it. Anyway..according to Karen, she claims that she saw a certain 'Melaniela' in the papers today. I don't know for sure, but I trust her. So maybe there is salvation after all.

Here's what I wrote...just in case you were interested.

The opening line states:

"UMNO Youth has given the green light to its members to burn Israeli flags to reflect public anger over the senseless killings of civillians in Lebanon and Palestine."

Five seconds after perusing the words, I was amazed and in my honest opinion, found myself in a state of incredulous amusement at this stance that has been adopted by the UMNO Youth. Surely they would know better than to suggest such actions. I mean, come on...you must be kidding.

At a time when every country should be advocating peace and being an example towards the two countries that are senselessly bombing each other, UMNO Youth decides to go one step further and fight fire with fire. Before we proceed, please, realise this that it's not just Israel being the aggressor and Lebanon/Palestine playing the helpless victim. Both sides are dropping bombs as fast on each other as over-ripened oranges are falling from the orange tree. Both sides have suffered casualties. Civilians on both sides are being killed.

How are we to make things better by burning a country's flag? On what authority do we have to make such a move of disrespect? How would this reflect upon us? That, when push comes to shove and we've finally gotten sick and tired of this whole affair, we whip out our Zippo lighters and rush to the nearest kedai runcit selling Israeli/US/British flags to engage in our own pseudo-GuyFawkes Day? Where is the rationality in that? Heck, does the country even stock Israeli flags?

The only response we would get from the world is one laced with cynicism and mockery. Yes, maybe now Malaysia might make it onto some late-night show with another set of glaring headlines..."Burning Flags Is Apparently The New Black In KL." And that's as witty a headline as I can muster right now. Why? Because my brain is still reeling from the incredulousness of the whole idea. It has not regained full function.

Now, wouldn't it be a much better idea for everyone to exhibit their anger and protests by showing the world that Malaysia is indeed a harmonious multiracial country and that they should all be ashamed of themselves and try to model their living habits like ours? Have more open-houses. Distribute more pictures of Malays mingling with the Chinese and laughing with the Indians. Show them that no bombs and wars equal to great jokes and damn good nasi lemak. Or something that may symbolise the likes of harmony.

I mean, face it, burning flags will only do more harm than good. Why?

UMNO Youth members burn flags = Malay community burn flags.

(Surely you don't think the Chinese and the Indians will become involved? It's UMNO Youth, hello.)

Malay community burn flags = Another subtle/vague form of the terrorism that we so like to condemn these days.

UMNO Youth, you'd just be playing straight into the hands of the enemies. And you just might give the Israelis more reason to bomb the Lebanese and the Palestinians now.

Ok..I admit..I did it for the money. I sold my soul to the Gods of Government-monitored-moderated-opinions for the astonishing sum of RM50.00. So, how?

Defamation.

This sent me into psychotic fits of laughter...I could hardly control myself. It was so bad, I fell out of my bed.

No, seriously.

I fell out of my bed.

"...saying how hopeless is the 'hood..we've tried to work it out with the weirdest and funniest people...like xxx with a BLOB...me and OLD MAN...you and RANDOM DUDES...but still even these don't work..!!

It's as though we should just stop living in denial and start saving up for a house for us soon..."

That was when I fell out of bed. The doubling-up-and-clutching-at-stomach action made me lose my balance momentarily.

OK, first, I feel I should clarify something.

'...you and RANDOM DUDES...'

Hah. Haha. Hahaha. There's no such thing as me and random dudes. What utter bollocks. And lest you forget and start ooh- and ahh-ing, I'm Catholic. So there's no way in Catholic hell that Jesus and my mom will allow me to have random dudes.

It's as simple as that.

The Great Debate.

The world is divided into Biologists and Physicists. You may be a lawyer, an accountant or a business-person (being politically correct here)…someone completely non-affiliated with the scientific world in terms of profession…but still, your allegiance WILL lie somewhere.

Personally, I’m not much of a Physics fan. Actually, let me rephrase that. I cannot stand Physics. I hate Physics. Physics is the bane of my life and will be my death knell in years to come. My loyalty lies in Biology.

Ah…the Biological Sciences. Even the term has a far superior ring to it. Biology is great, fun, interesting, hands-on and most of all, it helps me cope with and understand why I’ve come to obtain a flat nose. It made me understand that it wasn’t my fault.

But I digress. We are not discussing about aesthetics but rather the finer points of science.

Now, if you haven’t already known, Biologists and Physicists are not always the best of friends. We tend to not get along with each other. There has long been a question of which branch of science is the most superior of all: Is it the science which has given birth to such questions as the evolution of mankind or the understanding of the human physiology? Or is it the science which calculates the trajectory, speed and height of a tennis ball tossed into the air by a student named Ah Kong/Ahmad/Ramu?

Evidently, the reason for these differences in opinions lies in the core understanding of each of the sciences.

To the biologist, the smallest unit is the ‘Cell’, be it plant cell or animal cell. We understand that our bodies are made up of millions upon billions of cells. That’s what we are. We are congregates of cells.

However, to the physicists, the smallest unit is the atom. And then, they began telling everyone that EVERYTHING in this world was comprised of atoms; you, me, the tree, the grass, the bed, the laksa you ate this morning, the poop you did after the laksa…they are ALL made of atoms. Later still, they were not satisfied, and they began ripping into the poor atom and deduced that the atom WASN’T the smallest thing on Earth after all! No no, you see, the atom is in fact comprised off protons and neutrons and electrons which spin around the protons and neutrons and make pretty p-, s-, d-orbitals. Very ingenious.

Now, here is where it all gets a bit tricky. The tv is made of atoms. Can accept. The bed is made of atoms. Still can accept. The laksa is made of atoms. Must squint a bit and use imagination…but after awhile, still can accept. What I CANNOT accept is the fact that I am made of atoms. I cannot fathom that I have electrons spinning at the very ends of my strands of hair to the tips of my long slender fingers (ehheh). It just doesn’t happen.

For shame, physicists, shame. Leading the world on like that.

Ah...I'm gettin sleepy. But before I go, here's a sort-of parting gift.

If it explodes or gives off a bad smell, it's Chemistry.
If it bites or scratches, it's Biology.
If it doesn't work, it's Physics.

Thank you thank you.

When we don't write or call.

You may tire of me as our December sun is setting
Cos I'm not who I used to be.

Me:
So sad la, I feel as though our groups of friends is breaking apart.
Me gone. You gone. TPL gone.
Andy gone with the girlfriend.

Elaine:
Yea.
Tinggal Abby alone.

Me:
Abby and Claudia not talking to each other.
HAIH.
What went wrong?

Elaine:
Yea.
But if we try to keep in touch through MSN mai won't break apart lor.

Me:
*gloom settling in* Yea..

Elaine:
Hey...you remember when we were in Lobo's (Claudia's) house last time?
I dunno who said...when all of us finish Form 5, we're all gonna have our own paths.
We won't be so close anymore.

Me:
Oh...yea.
I sorta remember someone saying that.

Elaine:
Then, I didn't believe...I rejected the idea.
I said...Won't break apart wan...
Now, I'm starting to believe.

Me:
Hmm..buatkan aku sentimental dan jiwang jer...
Yea, I realised it last year.
When I saw you guys all having fun at your birthdays and other things and I wasn't there.
*cry*
Felt damn left out ok?

Elaine:
Ehh...your blog always cerita kawan2 kolej.
I thought you boobs lupakan bra edi ok?
I started to realise from there.

Me:
Eh..mana ada?
Just so happens that my kawan2 kolej are in Sydney too.

Elaine:
You know why friends break apart from Form 5?

Me:
Cos everyone pursues their own dreams.
The glue that held us together when we were in secondary school dried and slowly cracked up the moment we walked out the hall of our last SPM paper.

Elaine:
Yea.
And we start to have new friends.
You and TPL have your OB friends. I have my college friends. TPL has her NS and college friends. You have your college friends too.
And we start to have girlfriends and boyfriends.
Life is like that.

Me:
Yalar!!
ishish...tak syok betul.

Elaine:
Hahaha..we have to realise then only we can accept the truth.

it has been too long since i last sat down and had a good laugh with all of you. 7 years of friendship, laughs, jokes and good times should be strong enough to prevent us from drifting apart and becoming indifferent.

so now i'm gonna extol on their every single virtue and why they were my friends when i was 13 and are my friends now that i'm 20 and hopefully will still be my friends when i'm old and wrinkly and wondering where i left my keys.


ABBY! Years: 13.

Catholic konon. i bet you've done everything that Jesus said NO to...that's why when i'm in doubt about where i stand as a catholic myself, i look towards you as my role model and ponder upon that all famous question:

What Would Abby Do?


ANDY! Years: 20.

You played Barbie dolls with me when we were kiddies...wheeehehehe...someone's gotta find out one day.


CLAUDIA! Years: 13.

Yet another Catholic. You stuck through me when Abby (that bitch) boycotted me when we were 9...i'm still thankful.


DARREN! Years: 10.

That's right. the biggest poser-punk-rockstar you will have ever met. thanks to you, i learnt that the birds and bees were bullshit at a tender age of 10.


DOM! Years: 8.

Fucker you damn lansi edi. i still don't understand why i willingly assume the role as your driver whenever we go out to yum-cha even though you broke my camera, made the teacher confiscate my basketball and tore up my confirmation letter for the Pengawas excursion right in front of my eyes. You BITCH.


ELAINE! Years: 8.

I think i've talked too much about you on my blog. I don't want people to think we're lesbian partners. but you know i *heart* you.


PUI YAN! Years: 8.

i also don't understand why you put up with me even though i kept falling asleep beside you when we were in class and giving you all the random and sudden bites on your arm. Ah...was it because i always made you laugh so hard that your face turned red?


TPL! Years: 8.

Maha lansi!! but still, I *heart* my PohChai! i think you were the only one to truly layan all my antics; from pranking the seniors to all the dares to playing kejar-kejar on a muddy field. but why oh why must you always steal all the guys' attentions from me, Elaine, Abby, Pui Yan..etcetc..????

Cheese crackers and smelly turtles.


The Twins! Years: 13.

Look carefully, i swear they're two different people. Fun, dirty-minded, loud, uncouth, SHORT...and in a double dose too.


WONG! Years: 8.

Thanks to you, i realised what the term mad scientist meant. can't deny the genius that lurks within you though...and that's what makes it so unbelievable; your dead-pan expressions while drawing ham-sup comics on one hand and tackling add-maths questions on the other.

sigh...just looking through this pictures bring back fond memories...i don't think i've ever laughed as much and as hard as when i'm around you guys.

i miss you all.

It's been 6 whole weeks...

my mom has had enough. tomorrow, she will leave the land of kangaroos and koalas, of exorbitantly-priced Asian food and pandan leaves, of the shittiest-most-PMS weather on the face of the earth, of barbecued sausages and mash.

i don't know whether to be happy or sad.

on one hand, her leaving this place means that i'll get to sleep on my bed again. my back shall thus be able to cease from its suffering...poor thing had to endure the floor for 6 weeks ok? have some sympathy.

and when she's gone, i'd be able to get back to a normal routine of 3 meals a day consisting of an apple, an orange, a bottle of water, some crackers and maybe soup and rice for dinner. and by normal routine, i mean putting myself on a strict detox diet because ever since my mom arrived on Aussie shores, i have been eating non-stop. YES. I HAVE BEEN INDULGING IN SINFUL FARE FOR THE LAST 6 WEEKS. it has thrown my waist line in to the chasm of chaos. my innards are crying inside for the sheer stress of being overworked.

i believe it's time to stop.

on the other hand, however, her leaving this place would mean that i will lose a benefactress. a financier. a powerful backer. a patroness. a matriach. you don't know my mom and the power she wields in this family. being the youngest of the siblings, her word is Law. during the last 6 weeks, i had the easy life of ignoring the manual labour which is expected of me in this honourable household. this is because my mom was around. now that she's leaving, i shall be forced to once more reprise my role as the suppressed-downtrodden step-sister cousin.

and now that my mom won't be here anymore, i shall have to do the ironing and the washing again. you don't know me and the power i wield over my mom. being her only daughter, MY word is Law. Bwahahahaha....oh COME ON! one can lose herself in her imagination once in awhile, can't one?

but most importantly, when my mom is gone, i shall not have anyone to laugh with and bitch to. you really don't know me and the power i have over my mom. my mom's like one of my bitches best friends..we laugh and joke and poke fun at people together...and when's she gone, i can't antagonise her anymore by dropping 'hints' about boys in my life...!

not that i HAVE any boys in my life.

i just like to see her get worked up.

sigh (completely neutral sigh, not at all veered towards joy or remorse) ...

my mom's leaving tomorrow.

Major windfall

I am very happy.

*jumps around*

where is everybody? there is nobody on msn now whom i can gloat spread this love around to. and by nobody, i meant Him...but i absolutely positively REFUSE to name him on my blog because i have decided that i would rather not give him so many hits on Google. it does not do to make him kembang. so my gloating spreading of love will have to spill over to my blog.

anyway, have i already told you that i am very happy? these are times in which i truly believe in the power of prayers. yes...it is nothing short of miraculous and is enough to make me want to attend church for the rest of my life.

yes...anything more and i shall have to shout Hallelujah.

I am very happy.

because Dashboard Confessional will be playing in Hordern Pavillion, Sydney on September 6, 2006!!

wait, did you get that? i'll write it again.

WHO? DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL!
WHEN? 6 SEPTEMBER 2006!
WHERE? HORDERN PAVILLION, SYDNEY!

*jumps around*

I am very happy.

This is to good to be true.