Week 20: The victorian week that was.

the last time i was at Southern Cross Station in Melbourne, it was sunny, warm and i had someone to meet me. this time around, i was met only by cold winds and rain. a very gloomy start, i thought to myself while pulling up into the station.

bad and unpredictable weather aside, my latest trip to melbourne was much needed and well-called for. each time i visit, my conviction for making melbourne my home if ever i were to stay in australia becomes strengthened. nothing can express just how much i love melbourne! I LOVE MELBOURNE! i love melbourne more than i love sydney take that you smelly over-crowded over-rated city.

i didn't really do much this time around. i didn't even take a lot of pictures...i only have all 27 of it and out of that 27, only one had my face. so what exactly did i do? well, i slept late and woke up later, did a bit of shopping, meandered about melbourne cbd by myself some of the days, caught up with friends, met new people (who were all really really nice!), ate a lot, talked a lot, talked shit a lot and just generally hung out.


now you know why i'm such an alcoholic - i'm surrounded by them!

i guess this time being my third time here, i wasn't too stressed about playing tourist - i just needed a break from the mundane i.e. lab-life in sydney boohoohoo.

oh well. i had a great time. i think i might have had too much sleep but who gives a fuck? sleep is always good. thanks emo nimo for letting me stay over!


chris, nimo and step sending me off...HAPPY (no la that time i was actually quite quite sad)! kesian chris had to carry my very heavy countryroad bag all the way from 1909 to southern cross cos nimo had a tummy ache. thanks man!

and like always, the end of a vacation brings over a slight case of depression haha it's terrible la coming back to an empty house (housemate's gone to the snow) after spending 5 days in an apartment that had at least 4 people MINIMUM at any one time! i'm missing all the loud voices and laughter and shit-talking sigh.



melbourne, i'm coming back for you!

Week 19: Get Better from the Mates of State.

it is winter still! yet, i'm finding this winter to not be as severe as the previous winters - to prove a point, i'm still walking about the apartment in shorts and a tshirt, and i've yet to bust out my goose-feather padded code-named 'Ugly Bubbly Looking' purple jacket, because i don't need it! the weather's been unconditionally and uncharacteristically kind; most the days the skies are graced with beautiful sunsets.


specimen #1 - captured this while i was walking home from lab one day.

it has led me to wonder: how big a part is global warming playing for this to occur, or have i really just gotten used to this country and the cold? in other words, am i slowly acclimatizing and assimilating myself to this environment? because of late, i've found my brain slowly switching the default mode to 'Australia' rather than 'Malaysia'. although i'm still rebelling against this feeling, more often than not, i'm finding myself calling Sydney as home, or rather, acknowledging it as home.

this has caught me by complete surprise, because i'm sure the long-term readers of this blog will already be all-too-familiar with the sentiments i hold for this place: i do not like it and it is only temporary. there were weeks and months when i felt like i was in some sort of never-ending nightmare - one that i just can't wake myself up from (unlike the rat nightmares where my body's so good it's tuned to completely jerk myself awake). never-ending because, well, there just seems to be no visible end! first it was just 3 years, then one more year, then work, PR application, PhD...what next?! the years just keep leading on and piling up one over the next.


specimen #2 - foreboding-looking row of trees that line the entrance before i cross the st john's oval..yet another hurdle!

and now, the inevitable has happened. i think my head has accepted that there is no way i'll ever be spending my adult years in malaysia hence the switching of the auto-default mode. everything seems normal now - there is no more that 'off' feeling of being in a foreign country. when i'm sitting in a restaurant with my relatives, my brain tells me that yes, this is home. when i'm riding on the bus back to missenden rd, my brain tells me that yes, this is home. when i'm pushing my way up george st on a saturday afternoon and shouldering against the throngs of pedestrians, my brain tells me yes, this is normal and how it has always been and will always be, home. i'm starting to absorb sound and light that's never been right.

how la? i have lost the battle! i concede defeat. with each passing day, kajang and kl seem more and more like a place where i've come to acknowledge as a holiday destination. a place where i am the tourist. and if i'm not careful, it will slowly begin to acquire that 'off' feeling of a foreign country.

sigh.

the day with the longest night for the southern hemisphere has come and gone. now, the days will only get longer and brighter over time. i'll keep telling myself that everything's gonna get lighter, even if it doesn't get better. and if i'm going nowhere, at least we're going nowhere together.

Read it with a full 500L tank of sarcasm.

just a quick post from uni...i read something on The Star's website which, quite honestly, made me laugh out loud. quote ad verbatim, because my brain would never be able to produce such gems.

KUALA LUMPUR: Minister in the Prime Minister’s Department in charge of Parliament affairs Datuk Seri Nazri Abd Aziz has defended the move to tighten security at Parliament building.

“I am the person responsible for it, be it security or the length of skirt to enter Parliament,” he said, adding that he had the mandate of the house.

WHO IS THIS NAZRI FELLA?! he deserves an award for best comedy...i'm telling you, he's brilliant! so considerate - i mean, come on..really? REALLY? length of skirt? i would never have thought about it myself.

Week 18: Photoshop enabled me to undergo pain-free plastic surgery!

all these while, adobe photoshop seemed to me like the stuff made out of dreams and legends. i'd heard so much about it...the positive testimonials from its ardent followers and devotees were overwhelming.

EVERYONE swears by adobe photoshop. it makes you look prettier, hotter, more good-looking! it magically removes unwanted lumps and bits of fat! it makes the grass greener and the skies bluer! it comforts angsty teens with acne outbreak! it supports democracy! it eradicates poverty! it advocates world peace! and the last i heard, IT CURED CANCER!

as you can tell, i have a sort-of unholy fascination with photoshop. however, a combination of bad luck, low free disk space and a 30-day-trial of PSD which ran out meant that i could never fully dabble and test my proficiency with the programme. also, prior to my 30-day trial i had been warned that photoshop was insanely hard to get a handle on...and may i say, that warning was spot-on! the mechanics to photoshop is a bitch and me being me, i couldn't give a flying shit about reading the help manual.

3 years later and now i'm using a relatively easy online photo editing software called picnik. it's no fuss, straightforward and easy to use. however, all it does is edit the colour quality of the photos and you can't do much image manipulation except for adding little cartoons or text. it's nothing to shout about but hey, i'm easily satisfied.

so imagine my surprise when i found out that the little nondescript computer in the byrne lab had photoshop! i started scrambling for that xiaxue video aptly titled How To Use PS 101 (or something to that degree) and began photoshopping!

and you know what? IT'S TRUE! EVERYTHING THAT HAS BEEN SAID ABOUT PHOTOSHOP IS TRUE! i love photoshop! but then again, there is this small niggling thought at the back of my head condemning photoshop as well...i will elaborate later. i know i will probably regret this but for now, let me show you the fruits of my labour #1!


i know the 'After' photo is before the 'Before' photo. let you see my pretty photoshopped face first la before dragging you back to the reality i.e. my true face!

i didn't do much colour manipulation as i was just starting out. however, check out my face! IT'S NOT SO SQUARE ANYMORE! fuck, i actually look quite decent! so that's how i would look like if i had the sides of my jaw surgically removed! or at least, if i had the pointy sharp ends of my jaw filed down! OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! WHY AM I SO FUCKING SQUARE!?

ok ok..moving on to the fruits of my labour #2!



in this photo, i also de-squared my face but it does not end there! compare the top and the bottom photo! can't see it? I GAVE MYSELF A WAIST OMFGARDENIA! i look like a size 6 now! and i also turned hezrie into a leaner and meaner fighting machine! omg la why am i so nice like that? so that's how i would look like THIN! that's it la, i'm officially in love with photoshop.

and now, for the coup de grace - the fruits of my labour #3!



HOLY SHIT LA! that's it la i'm going for plastic surgery when i get enough money. this is fucking ridiculous la the after-me looks so much presentable and decent than the before-me. i would hit on the after-me, but the before-me?! *pukes slightly in mouth* once again, i de-squared my face and pushed down my hairline so that my forehead looked less like a helipad and more like an actual functioning normal forehead. and i also trimmed my nose abit by making it smaller and a teeny bit sharper in an effort to save it from its flatness.

ya tuhanku, thanks to photoshop i have discovered what i have always suspected to be true - my face is just too fucking square it's a disgrace and i need a nose job to transform my too-flat nose into something respectable-looking. it has helped reveal all my physical flaws to me and i don't know whether to hate it or be grateful! on one hand, i know what to tell my plastic surgeon in the future about how i want the job done. but on the other hand, i don't think i can ever look at myself in the mirror and be contented, AND I KNOW THAT NEITHER ONE OF YOU READING THIS WILL EVER BE ABLE TO LOOK AT ME AGAIN WITHOUT THINKING FUCK SHE'S RIGHT HER FACE IS TOO FUCKING SQUARE!

sigh..have i just killed my own market? did i send my saham crashing downdowndown to the depths of infinity like the Great 1929 Depression? WHY PHOTOSHOP, WHY?!

Week 18: Me and my mouth. And tongue.

when i was a kid, i ate chicken and only chicken. sometimes, i would have the occasional fish or prawn...but most times, it was chicken. after awhile, my parents gave up. i got to eat a lot of chicken rice, which was nice. and kfc. and, err, more chicken rice...roasted, not steamed - i like the crispy skin.

life was good. and then i grew up.

i have now become more tolerant of food which i once found abhorrent (i.e. all forms of vegetables and tofu). pork is excellent when it's presented to me in the form of char siew, siew mai or Hurricane's ribs. roast duck, despite its meat being a weird grey-purplish colour, is the next best thing since sliced bread.

ANYWAY, in the past 7 months i've found myself opening up to new cuisine! i eat sashimi now! i know! RAW FISH! i still remember the days when i'd give waiking and hongyin a lot of flak for eating sashimi (you know...before fire was discovered, people used to eat sashimi). all the sexually-charged moans they emitted when sashimi touched tongue (oohhhhhhhhhhh my goddd..it melts in your mouth) fell to deaf ears. but now, NOW, i understand what you guys were on about! I LOVE SALMON SASHIMI TOO!

and not only do i eat sashimi now, i also eat raw oysters! yes, i know! RAW OYSTERS! i used to wrinkle up my nose in disgust when i saw my mom squeeze lemon juice over it before proceeding to slurp the grey mass down her throat (you know...an oyster comprises of one quarter shit, one quarter meat and one half eggs/sperm!). i mean, hey i know my stuff ok? i'm a marine biologist. but now, NOW, i slurp down oysters with a squeeze of lemon and a pinch of salt like there's no tomorrow! no wonder they say that oysters are aphrodisiacs because when you eat one it's like having an orgasm in your mouth la! (note: don't believe me? ask the Smexy Anonymous Auntie. when i saw her facial expression after she'd pop one in her mouth, i didn't know if she hated it or loved it - much like how i imagine all faces undergoing an orgasm would look like. i don't know. i'm just taking a wild, blind shot).

i do believe that my tastebuds are honing themselves to the taste of more and more expensive cuisine.

the fun's not over yet. not only do i now eat sashimi AND oysters, i've also taken to drinking coffee! I KNOW! WHAT THE FUCK RIGHT?! i used to be a strong proponent against the consumption of coffee, but i think i'm slowly starting to morph over to the dark side (or rather, conforming to societal pressures). you see, there's this coffee shop place (coffee shop sounds very cina apek kopi o tamau gula kasi satu!) near where i stay and it's rumoured to be serving the best coffee you can ever find in sydney! now, that's a very big call to make - so naturally, i've gone around the place a couple of times to check if that call is true. i don't drink coffee so i have nothing to compare notes with, but it's not bad. it's pretty good actually.

so there i was yesterday (4 p.m. Australian EST), sitting inside campos (the name of the shop) because my cousin had asked me to buy some coffee beans. and i thought to myself, hey why not bring my papers there to read sambil minum kopi? i ordered an affogato (a shot of espresso over vanilla ice-cream) and since i was being adventurous, it became a double-shot affogato. haha. i know right? but because i was so into the affogato, i finished it in 10 minutes, tops. that meant that i couldn't sit around campos anymore because i've got nothing to warrant me taking up a table! so, i ordered a mocha as an excuse to hog the table longer. and it was bloody good too.

first let me tell you, my body is NOT in any way used to caffeine. two hours post-affogato and mocha, i started feeling strange. hmmm...heartbeat rate increasing. breathing becomes shallower and faster. shit, don't tell me i have emphysema? oh dear, my hand is twitching wtf is going on?! feeling. very. restless. hey, why do i suddenly feel like screaming? why am i nodding my head from side to side? is it my hormones?? hmmm, better lie down for a bit. fuck, i hope this twitching stops soon.

needless to say, i had the worst sleep of my life. i thought there were ghosts hiding in my bathroom. i heard this strange popping noise. it was too hot under my comforter. i felt like how i assume a crack-addict would feel like coming down from a trip. it was terrible. and when i finally managed to fall asleep, i dreamt someone threw a rat trap at me WITH A RAT INSIDE.

how exciting. i'm actually contemplating on going back to campos tomorrow. is this how people eventually become addicted to coffee?

Week 18: Yap turning old.

desperate times call for desperate measures. since being physically near each other was impossible, we had to resort to this.

BABY

I

LOVE

YOU!

the closest thing we can get to having a picture together.

don't you think we're beginning to look more and more like each other? you know how they say long-term couples or masters-and-pets tend to morph into each other? round face. long hair. side-swept bangs. WINNING SMILES!

anyway, i miss eating your birthday cake! it's been 4 years! how la how? 4 years is nearly half a decade! HALF A DECADE! why my parents so cruel want to separate us from each other? why? WHY?!

ok la.

HAPPY 22nd BIRTHDAY!

i'll see you when i see you.



haiyo. don't need to get so excited HAHAHAHA!

Week 17: 1:10 a.m. musings.

as much as i hate coming to terms with it, truth is, i have changed. i'm no longer the person i was a year, two years or even five years ago. i like to think that i'm still the same person, unchanged, after all these years but who am i kidding la? i KNOW that i'm so much more cynical now and very wary about everything (even though sometimes i don't show it - i like to keep it under covers, if you get my drift). i'm highly judgemental these days and god knows i'm incredibly doubtful of almost everything and my sense of sarcasm has shot out the roof.

i was never like this. i mean, sure, i was rather sarcastic last time but it wasn't up to the current level. if you wished, it was a rather mellowed version of sarcasm. like lemonade made from real lemons but with a whole kg of sugar poured in (bad analogy, i know).

i've been wondering: does this come with age? or experience? does age and experience combine and concoct a lethal potion of pessimism? why am i so pessimistic sometimes? most times?

but then again, for a pessimist, i'm pretty optimistic (sorry. borrowed that line from Paramore because it's brilliant). i become terribly optimistic at all the wrong situations. sigh.

well...we've officially passed the half-year mark (which was yesterday: 186 days since 1st Jan and another 186 days to go...i checked). things should start looking up. i've only got stats, reading and writing to do. and i'm going down to melbourne in a couple of weeks for a 6-day alcohol and poker bender. PLUS i'll be watching dcfc perform in just a little over a month.

ah.

once upon a time, i was so very happy. now i'm just...qwerty. qwerty? yea, qwerty.

p.s. to the parents: i was just kidding about the 6-day alcohol and poker bender. heh.