Week 17: Sorry for all the times I ranted at you, Rain

it has been a very wet week in Sydney. and it is perhaps this incessant wetness that is driving me to walk in the rain every day to work and back. yes, i am that crazy girl you see walking down Ross Street with her hands stuffed in her jacket pockets and a big grin on her face, if ever you so happen to be there in the mornings and late evenings.

perhaps it is my upbringing that has compelled me to try to drown myself in the feathery downpour - i don't know! when i was a child, i was strictly told not to play in the rain. my parents, who were usually very lenient in regards to their only daughter child in all aspects of life, adhered to their no-playing-in-the-rain rule with strict almost Machiavellian-like efficiency. no means no. no you CANNOT play in the rain.

in all my childhood life, i can only remember bending their rule once and that was back when i was in standard two. i was corrupted by my bunch of friends who were running back and forth between the shelter, where we waited for our parents to pick us up, and the rain. they would stand right at the edge of the tin roof where the water would drip and fall down like a thin glimmering waterfall and lift their face up to the drops and then grin back at me the most awful grin - the ones that say, oi stupid, why aren't you joining us and revelling in this great fun?! as the rain poured harder, their screams became more frequent and their laughter got louder as they flapped their arms around in the pouring rain and played 'catch' while i stood there sulking and staring at them, wanting so much to join them yet not daring to suffer the wrath that i knew i would cop if my parents saw their only daughter child drenched through her dark blue pinafore.

however, like all fairytales with a happy ending, i ended up joining them in the rain AND IT WAS THE BESTEST FEELING EVER! the cold rain lashing down on my head and blinding my eyes and running down my neck was pure joy - no wonder everyone was screaming and squealing! and then my dad came with an umbrella and when he saw me behaving like a little heathen child running around and jumping into puddles, he said, LEI CHOU MAT YEH AR!? LEI GAU SUI AR! FAN HUI THUNG MAMEE GONG THAI LEI JONG LAU MOU!? (loosely translated to: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ARE YOU PLAYING WITH WATER? GO BACK TELL YOUR MOTHER SEE IF YOU'LL GET A SCOLDING!)

but i didn't care HAHAHAHA i skipped outside his umbrella as we walked to the car because i reasoned that as i was already wet, i might as well go the full yard. surprisingly, i don't remember anything of the retribution i got so either it wasn't that harsh that's why i forgot all about it, or it was hell-raising akin to Nazism that's why i blanked it out of my memory. either way, that was the last time i ever played in the rain.

so yea - this sudden urge to walk in the rain even though i have a perfectly well and functioning umbrella in the bag is striking me as odd and slightly amusing. the good thing is that, now, when my mom sees me drenched the moment i step into the apartment, she doesn't say anything. YAY to being 23 and too old for reprimanding or a scolding or machiavellian wrath!

ps. i saw a rainbow whilst walking to work. i saw a rainbow yesterday too! and also on monday!
pps. i also saw a rat hiding in the drain. ya rabbi i was walking CLENCHED all the way to work. even the rainbow didn't work to assuage my clench-ness. every orifice, finger and toe was CLENCHED.

Week 17: Why kids these days have too much time on their hands

breaking news! this just in! i thought i had to, just HAD to commit this down to writing and have it kept in the annals of history of this blog because it's something that doesn't come about every other day!

anyway, my dad rang me this morning to inform me that...JENGJENGJENG...my high school got burnt down! there i've said it! however, it is suspected to be the work of arsons and not a mere accident gone horribly wrong. and how can it NOT be the work of arsonists if you take into account that the buildings razed were the staffrooms (filled with exam papers and answers) - number 1 enemy territory of the student masses.

i admit, i've never developed a liking for the staffroom in all my secondary student life. in fact, i detested each time i was called to the staffroom (which was not very often, praise be to God), even the very act of having to send exercise books to the teacher's table would send my eyes rolling to high heavens just because i hated having to repeat, 'Slamat tengari, cikgu' to every teacher i meet in there.

HOWEVER. i didn't hate it enough to want to burn the damned thing down!

kids these days, no patience or moral decency whatsoever. yes, this is a question of morality too because Pendidikan Moral taught us about Kesederhanaan ie. Bersikap tidak keterlaluan dalam membuat pertimbangan atau kelakuan. and if you didn't learn anything from those long moral lessons you had to sit through each week, well, may God save your soul because nothing else will.

Week 16: The Obligatory Annual Start-of-Winter Rant

it's only the 12th day of winter and already i've had enough. I'VE HAD ENOUGH. i'm throwing in the towel and calling it quits. i mean, it's only the 12th day for crying out loud and the weather gods have taken it into their heads to drain the living heat out of me and crumble me piece by piece, mind, body and soul.

why is it so cold in sydney? why is it so fucking cold here? i don't understand why sydney has to be so cold. this morning, when i woke up at 9.20, i looked at the weather forcast available on my phone and it said, and i quote, 'Sydney NOW 7 degrees Celcius'. 7 degrees Celcius. 7 degrees Celcius. 7 degrees Celcius. i thought my phone was playing a joke on me. i thought it was april's fool in june. i thought it was probably last night's update. so i looked again. Sydney NOW 7 degrees Celcius. what the fuck is wrong with the weather?!

it is only the 12th day of winter ya tuhanku!!! what about later on? what are we to expect in the heart of winter? am i supposed to feel the very marrow of my bones slowly solidify and freeze until i become a giant ice statue like Tracy Strauss (obscure Heroes reference)??

and you would think that having previously passed and survived 4 winters, i would have developed some semblance of an adaptive capacity towards the cold, but no. no, it's just too damned cold. i theorise that no one actually ever gets used to the cold.

ROAR. i wish global warming would happen already. less talk and more action, depleting ozone layer above the australian continent!!

Week 16: The gloriousness of Hunter

the last time i visited the Hunter Valley was in 2005, when i was young, naive and not quite the alcohol-enthusiast that i am now. back then, i didn't know my chardonnay from my pinot gris or my shiraz from my cabernet sauvignon (fuuyoh, i'm talking like some wine afficianado, when in actual fact i'm not!) - they were all red and whites and unappealing to me. no. back then, i didn't even taste any of the fine wines that the region had to offer, oh Lord have mercy. i didn't realise the full potential of the Hunter, and it was something that came back to haunt me time and again as my palette improved with every year that i passed here in sydney.

however, an opportunity to redeem myself arose last weekend and i grabbed with relish! my parents, my two cousins and myself were to spend the night at Hunter and just taste wines with wild and reckless abandon (ok la, not so much wild and reckless because my dad was there playing the role of wine patrol bah)! it was so much fun! i had so much fun! i bought so much wine! but i do not regret a single purchase - in fact, i wish i had bought more!

sigh.

anyway, Hunter's great. not just because of the wine, ok, but also for it's scenery. i didn't expect it to be so green and i certainly did not expect the rolling hills. even the food was excellent (except for the dinner at Chez Pok - commit that to your memory! you have been warned - which we will never speak of again)!

ok. enough talk. pictures will commence from...NOW!








here's a bonus photo for you, and why i think kids these days get all the unnecessary luxuries that were devoid during our time (the Gen Ys).



freakin' 4 years old and already playing with a nintendo DS!? strike me dead and call me a sprig of coriander. kids these days...sigh.

Week 15: How well do you know me?

if you didn't already know (but i think most of you do, and, in saying so, have already done), there's a quiz on facebook testing the quiz-takers on how well they know me. the results, i should say, was pretty dismal. and this is where i cast a disapproving look on all of you who took it (except 2).

disapproving look.

the mean score was 49.2%, which, in any normal educational institution (apart from malaysia) equates to a FAIL. that's right. it seems that i'm an enigma even to some of my closest friends. in light of this, i'd set my passing score at 75% (because i demand high quality results - nothing short of excellence) and only 2 people made the cut (baby and zingi - got surprise for you guys!).

however, as all quizzes go, somes issues were brought up, primarily that the quiz was flawed in some aspects. take Question 1, for example:

If all the following fell into the ocean, which would i rescue?
a. A million dollars
b. Ratatouille
c. Teen Guang Wei
d. My two heart-shaped pillows
e. My iPod

one quiz-taker argued that it would come down to either Teen Guang Wei (henceforth known as TGW) or my pillows. this is because, and i quote, "You are not money-minded so a million dollars is not important to you", which i duly took as a compliment (although, if i did see a million dollars floating in the sea, i'd most probably jump in for that, only and only if, there was nothing else). also, he argued, i most certainly wouldn't save Ratatouille on the account that it is a stinking filthy rat, and an iPod can be bought over again; after all, the songs are still safe within iTunes. so, through the process of elimination, it came down to either TGW or my pillows. and this is where he argued fervently (and i do commend his efforts) that, since pillows were inanimate objects while TGW was a living breathing person, i would definitely save TGW.

this matter is still being contested. but anyone who's anyone who truly KNOWS me, would know that my pillows are my life. hence, controversy arose.

anyway, the results saddens me greatly. i thought i have always been very transparent about myself and everything else that concerns me. i guess i was wrong.

yes, i'm looking at you, Elaine Yap YL.

p.s. on another note, does any of you think you're someone's favourite person? i saw this video on youtube the other day and it's been stirring some heavy thinking in me. am i anyone's favourite person? frankly, i don't think so. i'd like to say, my mom or dad, but i'm sure that their favourite persons are each other. and then, i was trying to think through my list of friends, but i'm not narcissistic or deluded enough to think that i'm possibly the favourite person of any of them. so perhaps, i am my own favourite person? after all, self-preservation is the greatest love of all. hmmm.



on that note, are you person 1, 2 or 3?

Week 15: An update!

a lot happened over the past week. here are some pictures as guidelines - i'm just gonna clue you in with each one because i can't be arsed typing out in full proper paragraphs. my neck hurts because i slept in a weird angle last night RAGE i'll never sleep on double pillows anymore.



i celebrated my 23rd birthday, in case you missed the previous post! pictured here with me are the members of the Byrne lab, and seated on my right (in white, to make it super obvious) is the culprit responsible for the recent case of Updates spam on my facebook page. if you missed it, thanks - it's not worth going back to read them. needless to say, never leave your facebook page unattended; consequences can be...dire.



my parents arrived. yay!




a few days later, GRADUATION! finally, i'm an official graduand JUST LIKE ALL OF YOU! and it wasn't as painful as i thought it would be. i didn't slip thus embarrassing myself, however, i did miss the tip of my mortarboard when i was supposed to be saluting the vice-chancellor. my fingers were grasping at thin air before i decided that, fuck this shit, i'm just gonna walk down those stairs.




later in the night, massive graduation dinner for the family. i'm thankful that no one made me give a speech. in the end, everyone (including my parents) adjourned to good ol' marly bar! fairy dust shots all around!



the next day, we visited Orange. here's Ben. he is a mystery because he can be the sweetest, most angelic and most affectionate boy in the world but a second later, he becomes the tantrum king devil incarnate. it is crazy.

he scratched my hand and broke the skin. and when i said OW he quickly grabbed my hand, said SORRY SORRY and started kissing it to make it better. can we all say AWWW!? and the way he plays the innocent role is mind-boggling! he was fighting with Joshua and his dad got angry. well, josh got the brunt of the wrath and started crying while ben ran away at the first sign of parental judgement. 20 minutes later, he went up to the still-crying josh and said with the most innocent of expressions,

"What happened, Josh? Why are you crying? Did da-da beat you? Don't cry!"

and then, random kisses and hugs ensued.

i would've fell off my chair from laughing too much if the situation wasn't so incredulous.

Week 15: Yet another year closer to death JENGJENGJENG!

Back when I was 19, one of my favourite songs was 23 by Jimmy Eat World. I can’t remember how I came across all seven minutes and twenty four seconds of this masterpiece of violin, guitar, bass and drums but I knew I was in love with the song thirty seconds into its instrumental intro. It is a song about frustration. It is about unrequited love. It is about how long is too long before you put an end to a waiting game. It is about letting go at 23.

Back then, I was going through some personal shit (shit here does not equate to ‘bad’. It’s more of a one-of-my-favourite-words-in-the-dictionary-kind-of-context – you can say that it can equate to ‘stuff’). I wanted to, yet I didn’t want to but, dear God, how much I wanted to! And all this while, an internal battle waged itself in my head – the slip ups I made which I berated myself heavily upon, yet I also berated myself heavily for not being forthright with myself and what I wanted. Yes, it was kind of messy and confusing.

Needless to say, listening to 23 when I was driving home alone late one night, I became afraid. In all honesty, I was suddenly terrified that my fate would end up exactly as that of the person in the song. I didn’t want to stick around waiting for someone till I turned 23. I didn’t want to be as embittered as J.E.W. (Hey! Another conspiracy theory for Waiking to ponder over!) when he turned 23.

When you are 19, 23 seems ages away. That was how I tried to calm myself down. I told myself that 23 was four grand long years away and surely, by then, everything would’ve changed. And even then, I couldn’t see myself turning 23 – not in a morbid live-fast-die-young sort of way – because 23 was still so damn long away!

Well, I am now 23 and my circumstances did NOT turn out like the song (Or did it? Hmmmmm) God bless. But I’m still in shit, except that it’s different shit. I guess some things never change.

Anyway, in order to steer this post back to a more light-hearted and celebratory mood, I have composed a 5-line limerick:

Happy birthday to me,
I’ve made it to twenty three,
But I’m not sure if I can handle more,
In order to make it to twenty four,
Perhaps we’ll just have to wait and see.

Boom-tish! You’ve been an amazing audience.