Week 1: My week thus far.

[Edit: written yesterday. i am no longer eating kuih bahulu (bahalu?!)]

growing up, shouldering responsibilities and generally being an adult is such a pain in the metaphorical ass. since coming back to sydney, my time has been mostly spent on looking for accommodation (yea, getting kicked out of the place BOOHOO no la, just kidding SORRY GEN!), counting my dollars and cents because i'm now working and therefore should be supporting myself AND stressing out wondering if i've got enough dollars and cents to upkeep my current lifestyle (high-maintenance la, what to do?!).

and through all this frantic adult activities, little did i know that one week has already passed! HOORAY! i am now one week closer to being home! but then, like cold water killing my joy - i've come to realise that it has already been a week and yet i've failed to look for a place to stay. my first foray into adulthood and i'm already a failure sigh.

ANYWAY. i went to see a place in glebe today - old triple storey Victorian house with the landlady plus two more tenants already living in the place (1 male aussie working as an IT specialist in USYD and 1 male Singaporean who, according to mrs. landlady is VERY handsome). as much as i liked the place (and the prospect of Singaporean man) but it was a bit small, and smelled kinda funky like how old houses tend to do. ok. that's all.

ok la, everything's not as gloomy as it seems. here's some photos. i'm actually still editing the photos from the roadtrip but i'm not actually in a hurry to post them up. over the week, my cousin got married, there was joshua and ben to play with AND ms. nata shariff is in town for a visit. plus i've got my kuih bahulu (bahalu?) to eat (i'm actually eating them RIGHT NOW!) which i brought back for the aussies in the lab but it's been untouched for a few days now bah they don't know how to appreciate the finesse that is malaysian pastries so I, MELANIE HO will appreciate them.

photos. bye.

The Wedding.




The Kids.





Ms. Nata's Great Adventure in Sydney Pt. 2: The Beach.

Week 1: This is the beginning, all over again.

so here i am, back in sydney once more! if you know me, you should already know how much i love sydney - i.e. not that much actually, in fact, it's more like not at all. but, like always, a man has to make his living and so too do i have to make mine. it just so happens that my making-a-living requires me to be here. so there.

a turtle admonished me the other day. it said, See la (yes, it was a malaysian turtle fully equipped with the colloquil use of 'la'), who asked you to go and choose marine biology? You should've chosen something more traditionally Malaysian like accounting or marketing or mass comm! in the midst of my sadness, i still found it extremely hilarious and ironic that it, of all things living, would criticise me for choosing to be someone who would ultimately help save its kind!

forgive me, i'm going off tangent here.

this most recent trip back home was nothing short of amazing. i can honestly say i've never been to so many places, done so many things, drank so much alcohol or danced away so many nights in my life (not exaggerating). i'm surprised that my liver has not already keeled over and surrendered. and judging by the number of blister scars on my toes and feet, i should be so thankful that i can still walk again! like a modern-day Lazarus, except that i wasn't dead.

i miss malaysia so much! and today is only the fourth day. how many more 'fourth day's will i have to endure before i'm back home in kajang again? how many more 'fourth day's will i have to weather before i'm back in bangi with my abby baby again!? how many more 'fourth day's will pass before i'm driving about in my kelisa again (which, incidentally, might not happen as my parents are thinking of selling the car...WHY!?).

haiya. this sucks. i want to come home!

Boring!

knowing that time is limited really puts everything into perspective!
with only 11 hours left, all i want to do is crawl into bed, take a HUGE sniff (smell) of my pillows and blankets and just go to sleep.
i know i should be utilising these last few precious hours to the best of my ability, but to be honest, i just can't be fucked. i know it's gonna come to an end and all i want to do is to savour these last moments by doing absolutely shit nothing. i haven't even finished packing - i'm just gonna throw everything into the suitcase when the time comes.

boo.

Malaysia Uncovered: Day 4 - I was the tiger ROAR!

after Kota Bharu, we took the east-west highway bound for Penang!



i'm kinda lazy today and i don't really feel like words so i'm just going to put up the pictures. however, if i feel that it would be appropriate to have a sentence or two accompanying some of the pictures, i'll type it up!




rumour has it that, if you're lucky enough, you may spot a tiger or even an elephant blundering out onto the east-west highway! disappointingly enough, the only tiger on the road that day was me.




despite my best efforts in calling out for TokBelang, Tok Rimau, Maybank, Tiger Oh Tiger...it was all in vain. soon enough, we reached Penang!




God. Penang, Penang...you have no idea how in love i am with you. your architecture. the way your peoples talk in a sing-song voice. your cheap food. your laidback island attitude. i have come to realise that this roadtrip has not only increased my knowledge of malaysia, but it has also revealed how dissatisfied i actually am HAHAHAHA! no la, i am satisfied with my current situation. i'd be even more satisfied if i didn't have to leave this place.

To you.

A flower that blooms, that is not pleasure.
A flower that withers and dies, that is not pain.
Xue Tao, d. 831 AD

Dearest friend of mine,

You and I are both on the same path; reaching out towards that which is ultimately unattainable. You are buoyed upon the waves of uncertainty solely by the visions of a possible bright future that you have shaped in the depths of your mind. Yet, you and I both know that such hopes are as solid as a sand-castle bracing itself against the rising tide. I, on the other hand, am holding on to the halcyon days of my past; reliving my dreams over and over again in a vain bid to transport myself back through time. Yet, you and I both know that what’s past has passed and, like a 12 o’clock shadow, can never be.

How is it that we came into such predicaments? We are rational people; yet as we listen to each others' stories, rationality is the furthest thing from mind. I tried so hard not to repeat the same mistakes. You tried to start anew. I thought my defense was impenetrable. You decided that you would chip slowly and steadily through the wall even if it took you a lifetime.

And so, here we both stand. Don’t you see what we’re both trying to do? I don’t want you to end up playing the fool. And as sure as time passes, I don’t intend to be fooled twice.

I solemnly and honestly tell you now: Abandon your plans for I fear they will come to nothingness. Like flowers, everything in this world is transient. Self-preservation above all else because if you do not love yourself, who will?