Antarctic Week 6: This is the last day of 2009

it's that time of year again - where we reflect on our past deeds and try to come up with new resolutions to help us convince ourselves that we will be better people in the near future. this time around, however, we're not just entering a new year; we're bidding farewell to a whole decade and putting our best foot forward into a new one.

it's not that i've had many decades chalked up to my name (2 and a little bit more, to be pedantic) but many things have happened over the past 10 years that still remain fresh in my mind.

i remember ushering in the new millennium amidst the grandeur of fireworks and drunk revelers at Darling Harbour, Sydney. everyone was talking about the Y2K bug and how all technology as we knew it would come to a grinding halt the moment time registered 0:00:00 but for all that hue and cry, nothing happened.

the latter part of the following year was dominated by the threat of terrorism and the fall of the north and south towers of the World Trade Centre in New York. i remember getting into my dad's car after Mr Mathi's tuition and him telling me that something incredible was happening on tv - the moment i stepped into the house, i saw a replay of the first plane slamming its way into the tower. it felt surreal, like watching a hollywood action blockbuster except that this was real life and those were real people, not stuntmen, leaping from the building.

in 2003, i joined hundreds and thousands of other 17-year-olds (and the occasional 16-year-old; i have not forgotten about you guys, dear PTS students) and sat for the SPM exam. and just in case we weren't strung-out and stressed enough, the world exploded with the onset of the avian flu/SARS. suddenly, every little sneeze, cough and sniffle became a valid source for paranoia.

the next year, i was offered a taste of the urban way of life and exposed to whole new environments which were not available in the backwater parts of Kajang (HAHA NO LA I'M ONLY KIDDING!) after i enrolled into Taylor's College. amazingly, a handful of people i met there are still some of my closest friends to date, and for that i am very thankful. just as we thought that the curtains would come down on semi-uneventful year, our world was literally rocked by waves of change. a tsunami triggered by the second strongest earthquake ever recorded on a seismograph left nothing but devastation in its wake. even natural-disaster-free Malaysia was not spared.

in 2005, i finally left the nest and started a new life in sydney. the one decision in my life that i'm still unsure of: was it a good thing? was it a mistake? should i have stayed at home? did my coming to sydney turn me into a cynical foul-mouthed bitch? sigh...one will never know. later on in the year, before the scab left over by the boxing day tsunami had dried on our consciousness, hurricane katrina pounded the US Gulf Coast into near oblivion. in a weird twist of irony, it was more shocking to witness than the boxing day tsunami of the previous year, because this was the great US of A, oft times seen as invincible and impenetrable, being subjected to the furies of nature just like any other country. then, to witness the slow social deterioration that followed the hurricane, it was almost unbelievable, because this first world country was just like everyone else.

after entering into Sydney University, the following years after that seemed to have melted into one big blur. everyday was just a succession of lectures and assignments punctuated by semester breaks and holidays. during the summer break of 2006, Saddam Hussein was sentenced to death by hanging by a hastily assembled court. ironically, this great man responsible for so much tragedy and suffering was found cowering unkempt in a farmhouse, which goes to show, the higher you climb, the harder you fall. as 2007 rolled in, days held even less significance for me. all i cared about was getting through each semester and returning home to the motherland at the end of the year. however, towards the end of 2007, there was a change of plans - and herein began my itch for travel and adventure. for 10 days, i traveled up the east coast of australia, making it possibly one of the best trips of my life.

in 2008, i made a conscious decision to sell my soul to the institution and embarked on my honours year. perhaps this may come off as rather harsh, but 2008 was not, and i mean NOT, my best year. it was perhaps my worst year. i was sleeping about 4-5 hours each day, working till 3-4 in the morning most days and had a lot of personal issues and mindfuckery going about. i was very glad to see the year out - very VERY glad. also in the latter part of the year, the world decided to take a tumble together with my declining psyche and the global financial crisis saw to it that millions of people lost their jobs, homes and the very life that they had led. however, not all was dark and gloomy. the world all round celebrated the 29th summer olympics in Beijing and later in November, the great US of A elected the first black man into presidency.

and now, the end of 2009 is approaching. it is probably not as tumultous as how 2008 was for me, but i still had my fair share of ups and downs. i shall now end this here and elaborate on it further some other time. but if i don't see/talk to you before the year is out, well, i hope you have a fantastic NYE's celebration tonight and a very happy and productive new year to come.

Antarctic Week 5: Christmas is coming!

can you believe it? it's gonna be christmas in a few days' time! for the first time in my life, i will not be celebrating christmas with any of my family members at all. it feels a little weird now but i guess things happen. no doubt, christmas on station will be a fantastic affair. i can't wait to see what the chef's will have cooked up for us for christmas dinner. and i'm expecting that the whole day will just be a gigantic piss-up session and that baby jesus will look down and stare disapprovingly at me while i giggle, slur and stumble my way through his birthday.

but no, seriously. that's how i'm envisioning christmas on davis station to be. honestly, i think life here revolves around two and a half things: work and alcohol, and antarctica being the half. it's true! my days spent here revolve around work and alcohol. and i'm one of the more reserved ones too when it comes to arak consumption! i know, right?

anyway, Merry Christmas to you all even though it's three days too early. i don't know if i'll have the time to do a post on christmas day. on second thought, i don't even know if i'll be sober on christmas day. hmm.

ok la, love you all. eat, drink, pull crackers, rip open presents and be merry, ok? think about me when you're doing any or all of the above.

Antarctic Week 4: I be the bearer of news.

greetings and salutations from a sunny day at the 'Tarc! it's been nearly a month since i've set foot onto the continent and i have good news and bad news AND good/bad news, which, i guess, equates to neutral inconsequential news...hmmm.

anyway, for some good news: i still have not had any frozen fingers or toes! the weather has been pretty brilliant, averaging between 2 degrees Celcius most days. i know this might sound weird, but you can really feel the difference between sub-zero and, err, above-zero (???) temperatures. when the sun's out, i pretty much just wear a tshirt underneath my hoodie jacket with long pants, and that's it. come to think of it, i wear much more during winter when i'm in sydney!! which defies logic and common sense, but i guess that's how it is in Antarctica. there's a popular saying that goes like this:

"Below 50 degrees South, there is no law. Below 60 degrees South, there is no hope. Below 70 degrees South, there is no God."

this must explain why i haven't gone to church or said a prayer since boarding the Aurora HAHA (no la i'm just kidding, mom).

on to the good/bad neutral and inconsequential news: i did some mental calculation last night and realised that i have more or less 8 weekends left in the 'tarc. and when it's put in that perspective, it doesn't seem like such a long time anymore! weekends come and go here in the blink of an eye, and i'm afraid that, before i know it, i'll be packing up my bags and heading home. being in an environment such as this really does weird things to you. a week ago, i was telling people that i missed civilisation and the little things we take for granted, like, grocery shopping (it's true). but just yesterday, i found myself plotting with a friend on station about how to hide one's self just so that one didn't have to go home. what an incredible turn of events! i was actually contemplating NOT coming home and staying in antarctica for forever! i shall elaborate further on this strange disorder next time, possibly over the weekend.

now, for the BAD news: i still haven't started any of my experiments. which is shit because, as you already know, i don't have that much time left on station. the first week was spent resupplying the station and just getting ourselves sorted. the second week was spent unpacking all the science gear and shit. the third week was spent going for survival training and the likes. we've been building the aquarium throughout the time but progress has been going slow. fingers crossed, everything will be set up and ready by next week for some urchin-culling activities! oh, did i say urchin-culling? i'm sorry, i meant, science. at the rate we're going, i might be staring out the portholes of the aurora once more before actually getting any solid data. sigh. ok, nerd talk over.

that's all, i guess. till next time!

Antarctic Week 3: Non-Antarctic related sorry...i'm just ranting.

[EDIT: PHOTOS FROM THE VESTFOLD HILLS DEATH MARCH IS UP...PLEASE SCROLL DOWN FOR SOME DEATH-MARCHY GOODNESS KTHXBYE]

today seems like one of those cold blustery days that were made for sombre and serious reflections, and so i shall. i guess, if you've been reading this site since it's conception, you'd probably have noticed that over the last couple of years, the frequency of postings and overall tone of each post that i've written have been becoming lesser and milder.

oft times i've wondered how this transition managed to creep its way under my skin. perhaps it is because i've been growing up. before this, when i was young and stupid and insensitive (i guess), i'd just fire away words whenever something or someone displeased me. i didn't think of who would be reading my words or the potential impacts it would lead to, and for me, if it made an impact then, well, all the better! it made for interesting reading, i suppose, because everyone delights in gossip and drama anyway (even though we choose to coyly say 'no').

then, something happened that made me stop, and sit back for awhile. suddenly, maybe, i wasn't too comfortable about airing my real thoughts into the great interweb. suddenly, i became all secretive and elusive and hypothetical, writing long round-the-way posts to inadvertantly say what i really wanted to. after awhile, even these vague posts stopped, because i didn't feel like sharing or revealing my inner thoughts anymore. i became super cautious, super careful and super wary of everything i said. if something troubled me, i wouldn't write about it, perhaps because i didn't want to be thought of as 'weak' or that i 'couldn't handle it'.

but you know what? fuck all this shit. from now on, i'm gonna write just whatever i please because life's too fucking short to be agonising over minor details like this. to hell with what other people think. if i want to write about some fucking insensitive asshole that i knew, i'll do just that. if i want to talk about my sex life to all and sundry (i'm being hypothetical here. banyak bawa bertenang, parents), then i'm sorry but you'll just have to be unwilling readers/listeners/whatever la.

ok thanks bye.

Antarctic Week 3: My losing trend does not discriminate geographically.

i've lost my camera! ok i don't think it's been stolen - i've probably just misplaced it somewhere and i have a sneaking suspicion that it's in my room. it's just that i can't seem to find it...but then again, if you can find anything at all in my room, you're probably extremely lucky.

that being said, my room in Davis station has turned into a veritable blackhole! anything that goes inside never ends up coming back out or seeing the light of day again (which is saying a lot, considering that 'the light of day' in antarctica, for now, is a healthy dose of 24 HOURS!).

so far i have lost:

a pair of woollen mittens
my camera
a half-eaten bar of Time-Out
my brown short-sleeved Topshop cardigan
a National Geographic magazine
Calvin and Hobbes' Attack Of The Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons
sleep
a quarter of my sanity

that's quite a lot of stuff, eh, for 3.5 weeks? the reason why sleep and sanity are in the picture is because, work starts at 7.30 am. i feel like i'm back in Sek. Men. Jalan Bukit Kajang each time i walk into the general science building. but at least it's not as bad as Taylor's or heaven-forbid-it-from-ever-happening-again 1st Year 8 a.m. USYD MATH LECTURES! fuck me silly but i still have nightmares thinking of those 6 a.m. bus-rides into uni.

anyway, i was hoping to upload some photos taken whilst i was on the Vestfold Hills death march but since i can't find my camera, it'll just have to wait. by the way, for some reason unknown to myself, it is awfully AWFULLY cold here in antarctica today. and the wind gusts have just been phenomenal. it was gusting at 40 knots/hour and i literally had to bend forwards to an angle of about 30 degrees in order to prevent myself from being blown away as i struggled my way to science...TALK ABOUT DEDICATION! i defy anyone else who tells me that they put more effort into going to work as i just did. if the wind gets any stronger, i just might have to ice-axe my way to science on my belly. i'd so totally would.

ok, au revoir from antarctica. till next time (if i don't fall into a crevasse, that is)!

Antarctic Week 2: Death march through the Vestfold Hills.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! finally, i've found some time to myself. it's amazing how, even though you're stuck in a place that is almost like a grander scale of Big Brother, there is so much work and shit that ties you down! and i almost can't believe that the weekend has arrived AGAIN! i'm kinda torn between having the weekend roll around because:

a. it's a good thing - it means i'm one more week closer to going home and seeing the real world again! and of course, my baby baklava hoho!

b. it's a bad thing - my antarctic experience is ambling along at a greater speed than i thought AND WHERE DID ALL MY TIME GO!?

anyway, just a round up of what i've been doing this week.

on tuesday, i went for my 24-hour survival training with 6 other people. it was great fun, but rather hellish too - i will explain why later. we started out from station after lunch and was taken by helicopter to one of the huts outside of davis station called Brookes Hut.



each of us were equipped with a survival pack that consisted of: a huge ass backpack, a sleeping bag, a bivvy bag (click on the link - it'll show you an exact photograph of how i slept that night outdoors), a stove, a pot, 3 1-litre bottles of water, a 1-litre piss bottle (you're not allowed to urinate on the ground in antarctica FML), dehydrated food rations, a compass, three maps, a signalling mirror, cutlery, boot chains, ice-axe and a change of clothes plus extra gloves and socks. altogether, my survival pack weighed AT LEAST 15kgs. at the very least.



once we got to brookes hut, we started trekking through the area and walked to a few lakes. these lakes were pretty awesome in that they're still in liquid form - reason being that they're super saline (about 5x the salinity of seawater) therefore they can't freeze. on the first day, we walked to 4 lakes. the first 2 lakes were easy to get to...after that, the walk turned into a death march to hell for me.



firstly, NO PATHS. secondly, walking along the rim of the lake 20m above water level on steep slopes that consisted of nothing but loose pebbles and gravel (scree). i nearly saw my life flash before my eyes a couple of times as i tried to regain my balance by jamming my foot into the scree and hope to God that i won't slip and break my head on some nice antarctic boulder. thirdly, fucking pack nearly killed me because it went above my head level and every time i bent over to steady myself on the rocks, i nearly toppled ass over feet in front of me. EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME. fourthly, got lost a few times wtf. fifthly, uber blisters on both backs of my heels.



by the time we got to our campsite, i was a wreck - but of course, still managed to maintain composure abit la. had to put up a strong front because i didn't want to be the stereotypically weak and defenseless asian girl (already, i'm the smallest-sized and youngest one here FML). fixed up my 'bed' for the night (as per the bivvy bag photo up top), cooked my dehydrated rations, ate it with great gusto, chatted a bit, then realised, fuck i needed to go take a piss. that's right evrybuddy, for the first time in my life, i pissed into a wide-mouthed round looptop 1-litre Nalgene bottle. and i didn't even have a FUD (Female Urinary Device to the uninitiated) to help me out because i wasn't issued one FML. but i can tell you with great pride that i did not 'leak' onto the bottle neither did i piss on my own hand. i still can't believe how i did it. i guess desperate circumstances really brings out the talent in some people.

didn't get much sleep that night. next morning, woke up bright and early at 6am and continued our death march again at 7. being an idiot, i forgot to put plasters on my blisters but instead thought that it would be alright if i wore double layers of socks. what a fucking retard. by the time we were about 3km from station, my blisters were wrenching the very living soul out of me. took of my socks only to be greeted by raw skin - my blisters had already popped and the skin that usually forms the bubble had peeled back. FUCKING PAIN LA! ON BOTH HEELS SOME MORE! but once again, i gritted my teeth and like a true hero, told the troop leader that i was fine, just give me a plaster and i'll walk it home.

by the time i stumbled back into station, i was completely totalled. every bit of my body hurt, from my neck, to my shoulders, down to my pelvic bone (thanks to the waist strap of the backpack) and continuing all the way through my thighs, calves and feet. i didn't realise that when the antarctic division said survival training, they really meant SURVIVAL training.

that's about all that was exciting. did more work (in bodily pain, naturally) in the aquarium to set up the water and CO2 systems yesterday and today. other than that - life's peachy i guess.