Week 14: I LOST ANOTHER WEEK AGAIN!

since learning the true value of the oft-mentioned-but-as-rare-and-mythical-as-big-foot hard-earned dollar, i have been bringing my levels of thrifty-ness to great new heights! however, that is not to say that i hoard every single dollar in my bank account and refuse to spend even a single cent of it. all it has done is make my doubly triply and quaterply careful with what i spend my money on!

back in the day when i was still leaching off my parents, i would have to think real hard whenever i want to buy something and ask myself such gems of a question as "How many hours must papa breathe in woodchips before i can buy this dress?" or "How many translation tapes must mommy go through before i can buy that pair of shoes?". now i know the answer to those sort of questions, and the answer is "A LOT."

however, like i said, i still love shopping. it's just that i don't buy anything at full price anymore. instead, i'll wait and wait until the item i want goes on sale (and in australia, chances are you don't really have to wait that long). if it doesn't ever go on sale or if it does but runs out of my size, well, i'd just tell myself that me and coveted-item were not fated to belong together. easy. too easy. but that's only the first hurdle. if said coveted item IS on sale and IS available in my size, i'll have to further deliberate if the quality of the item is worth my money. i may be a scrooge sometimes but if i think it's worth my money, i'll gladly hand over my hard-earned bucks just to gratify myself materially.

ok. there's three paragraphs written just to tell you that, over the past few weeks, this is what i've spent my wages on (besides food and rent):


coat from Sportsgirl. super nice, i'm wearing it right now! price: NA.


Sgt. Pepperish top from Ladakh. super love. it can't wait for KL! price: NA.


9west shoes. super orgasm HAHAHA i won't show you the heel height but needless to say, if i fall i'll probably break my neck and, if i don't die, i'll be a paraplegic YAY! price: NA.

ya, that's about it. there are only one thing in this whole world that i won't hesitate dishing money out for and that's books! to date: i think i've spent AUD_______ on books, but i don't care, it's my money! (sorry, cannot reveal).

bye.

Week 12: WHOA new banner!

there's a new banner up! it's been nearly a year since i've had the old multi-coloured cubed one and a lot has happened since then so i thought i might as well change it.

the colour scheme is probably less 'noisy' than the old one as there's only mainly blues, yellows and reds. the pictures were taken during one of my last nights in kajang earlier this year and the subject of each thumbnail is probably explanatory enough of what went on. all things aside, i'd rate that night as one of the best nights of my life. reasons being: small group of really good friends and alcohol. hilarity would then ensue on its own accord. and trust me, there was much hilarity to be had that night.

ANYWAY.

can't wait to see you guys soon! ok perhaps not so soon, because everything's relative after all. p.s. tell me if you like this new banner or if you fucking hate it (yes, you can say 'i fucking hate it mel' and i won't get angry - but must put name ok!? don't be a stranger) because i'm open to comments.

Week 12: Have you seen my cd anywhere?

not wanting to be premature or anything, but i think i've landed myself in the mother of all fuck-ups. i can't find any of my final documents for my honours thesis: my entire thesis and its chapters are missing, my final presentation, my figure plates with pretty little urchin pictures - NOTHING. they are neither in my laptop nor on the lab computer.

i know that they should be on my ex-housie's external hard-drive that i was using when my laptop crashed on me last year - but i can't be sure. and besides, it's already been nigh on 6 months since then, chances are she'd already have trashed it into her recycling bin.

on the other hand, i'm confident that i burnt all relevant documents onto a cd but said cd is MISSING. i know i brought it home with me to Kajang and, perhaps just perhaps, it might still be there. according to my mother though, it is not. however my confidence level on her search tactics is borderline non-existent (sorry mom. just kidding. don't angry. keep searching).

SO! now i'm hoping against hope that said cd is tucked in somewhere in my laptop bag. knowing my acute propensity to randomly chuck things aside, i am hoping that i've chucked it into my laptop bag and not into the fucking bin.

monumental fuck-ups aside, all is well! i'll be graduating in 2 weeks' time - which is fortunate considering i've been waiting for nearly half a year for this. i'm slightly apprehensive of it though; what if i stumble on the way up the stage and fall ass over feet with my petticoat splayed for all honoured academicians and guests to see?! what if i threw my mortarboard in the air and it fell and stabbed some poor bald elderly gentleman in the eye!? those caps are hard and sharp, you know.

ah well, anyway. if you want to see my humiliate and embarass myself greatly, then come on down to the Great Quadrangle on 29 May. i'm not sure what time my session is because i can't be arsed to go collect my mail back at the old place. but i really should.

Week 11: Are you spent?

[Warning: Absolutely shit boring-as-a-2-ply-toilet-tissue post ahead! Read at your own peril! Don't say I didn't warn you!]

According to an article in Grazia, I am spent. Apparently it is a newly-coined condition sweeping the great US of A and it essentially means feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and running on empty. Sound familiar? Read on.

Someone who is deemed as ‘spent’ experiences at least three of the following symptoms:

• Rarely feeling fully refreshed in the morning even after getting eight hours’ sleep.
  

(Check. For some reason, even though I’ve been sleeping before 12 and waking up way after the sun has risen, lately my eyebags have been making a comeback and I’ve been yawning like a kleptomaniac throughout the day).

• Regularly feeling unusually tired for no apparent reason.

(This one’s checked too, because, let’s face it – I am a lazy person HAHAHA maybe this can explain why I’m so lazy!)

• Require caffeine or sugary carbs (white bread, bagels etc) to wake you up.

(Not I. I never really liked bread nor coffee – Re: My unfortunate coffee incident last year.)

• When enjoyable things (sex HAHA who?!, a night out with friends etc) often feel like a chore.

(Check again. I’ve been known to turn down evening outings because I just can’t be bothered – but I always thought that it was because I’m a lazy fucker. But maybe there’s a greater explanation for this hmmm.)

• Often feel overwhelmed by your to-do list.

• Often worry about the security of your job.

• Occasionally suffer from bloating, wind or constipation.

(HAHAHA! Constipation, no, because I eat my vegetables and fruits! But bloating, yes boo hoo).

• Struggling to lose weight.

(WTF? Ok, I’m not sure how this is relevant but if it’s in the checklist then it must be. And I checked this too because, let’s face it, I am fighting a losing battle here).

• Your mind continues to race with worry even though you’re flat-out exhausted.

(Yup. Happens to me sometimes.)

• Trouble focusing on something or remembering things.

(Yes. After all, I’ve now been nicknamed Goldfish – for very good reasons).

Ok. Did you get all that? How many did you qualify for? Do you think you are spent? If yes, no fear! Here are some ways to counter your spent-ness.

1. Go on a technology detox i.e. turn off everything electrical like computers, laptops, TVs and even handphones after 10 pm.

I know, some pretty crazy stuff, eh? I’ve started the habit of turning off my laptop now (I used to leave it on so that iTunes could run and lull me to sleep) however, I still can’t bring myself to turn off the phone but I compromise by putting it at the other end of the room from my bed HAHA! Apparently exposure to electromagnetic fields too close to bedtime stops our sleep hormones from being secreted as we drift off to sleep hence we never reach deep restorative sleep and as a result, wake up exhausted every day.

Cool, huh?!

That’s about it. The other ways to counter spent-ness were normal generic remedies like eating well, not eating processed foods, exercising regularly blablabla. But how cool is the technology detox?!

It’s quite true though. Ever since my laptop has been turned off at night, I’ve been sleeping longer with fewer interruptions to my sleep. I mean, I don’t wake up as often at night anymore, compared to the once-every-two-three-hours before. It’s very annoying la and I guess that’s why I always felt so tired even though I’ve slept in. Oh, also, lights from radio alarm clocks are bad too.

Anyway, I hope this was informative. I just figured since we're now a very technologically-driven society and I personally know many of my peers who are suffering from insomnia and tiredness so I thought this might help.

Week 11: This entry is entirely fictitious. Happy birthday! You turn 1 today!

[Ed. note: Please be reminded once again that this is entirely a work of fiction. I cannot stress how strongly that this is not fact]

. . .

I downloaded Mae.
It reminds me of you.
What songs did you get?
Ready and waiting to fall.

. . .

Let’s hop on a plane and fly there. I’ll meet you at the Esplanade.
Okay, let’s do it.
Meet me at 5.30. Under the tree with the pink flowers.
Alright.
Don’t forget.
Won’t forget.

. . .

So, you were already sad then right?
Yes, I was.
I could tell, you know.
Right when I clambered down to the rockpools where the dogs were. Just watching the waves crash and break.
It’s alright.

. . .

You’ll probably see him when you look into your mirror too.
After all, it was your tummy he scratched, not mine.
I’m not afraid.
I and he are buddies. I scratch his stomach, he scratches mine too.
We buddies.
Tight.

. . .

What happens if someone comes up to you and says that he likes you?
Well, then I’ll say...that’s nice.
How evil.
I was just kidding.
Don’t lie.
I’m not lying.
Ok...well, I’d say, oh really? That’s great because I like you too.

. . .

I was too sleepy. The things I do for you.
I know. I’m so touched.
Fake.

. . .

So, what made you decide to do what you did last night?
Decide to do what?
Say I’ll never let you go.
And since you kept asking me why, I think it’s my turn to ask you why now.
I was sleepy and simply said it off-hand.
I see.
But that line has some truth in it though. Perhaps I can say it at a later time and actually mean it 100%.
Fair enough.
That’s some powerful stuff right there.
It is.
I know.
And you pretended like you didn’t hear it.

. . .

So what made you decide to say those things to me last night?
What things?
Like, what would happen if that guy was you etc?
Guts.
Because you kept saying, oh you know you should tell someone you like them or else you’ll miss the opportunity.
And you kept egging me on.
That’s true. But I’m glad you said it because I wouldn’t know for sure.
And I thought you were seeing someone else.
Honestly?
For one instance, seriously.

. . .

Everyone’s asleep?
Try not to get into trouble.
I’ll blame it on you.
Sure.

. . .

Thanks for trusting me.
Of course. You’re the hope I have for change, remember?
But am I the only chance that you will take?
Perhaps. I’ll think about that.

. . .

As for me, I had to wait another year.
Then did you cry?
No.
Don’t lie. It is ok to admit it.
Honest. I did something worse though. I pretended like nothing happened – like everything was ok even though I was quite sad inside.
Heartless.
Not heartless.
I mean, crying doesn’t solve anything. So why cry?
True.

. . .

Rindu aku?
Takde la. Kenapa?
Oh, tanya je.
Macam mana kau tahu aku tengah rindu kau sambil mendengar lagu jiwang?
Saya ada intuasi.

. . .

Fool.
Well, you’re the bigger one for voluntarily getting involved with one.
Hey.
Yes?
Nothing.
I know.
I bet you didn’t.
You bet I did.

. . .

You are so sensitive.
What has that got to do with anything?
Nothing. I’m just telling you that you’re sensitive.
I know. You’ve been telling me that since day one.

. . .

Don’t talk to me.
You are pissing me off. You always do that.
If you want to hang up, then don’t call me anymore.
I hate it when you’re being condescending, ok? Don’t talk to me like I’m a kid.
I’m not a child you can talk down to.

. . .

I guess this is goodbye.
I guess.

. . .

End.

Week 10: Applying for a permanent residency visa is much harder than it looks.

as of two weeks ago, i am now one step closer to being a permanent resident of Australia. however, events leading up to the lodgement of my visa application left much to be desired. needless to say - the australian government has now emptied my bank account of nigh on $3000 what with the application fees along with the endless forms and documents that needed to be assessed. if any of you are planning to apply for a permanent residency visa, i earnestly suggest that you think it through CAREFULLY and make sure that you have at least $3k for disposal.

financial discontentment aside, applying for this visa has actually made me quite sad. the previous 'this is gonna be temporary' mindset that i adopted back in 2005 when i was embarking on my first year of university has been effectively switched over to 'this is gonna be permanent'. THIS IS PERMANENT! hell, i've even caught the disgusting habit of referring to sydney as home - as in, "When are you going back to Sydney?" "I'm going home in 2 weeks." see the problem?

oh tidings of woe, if i knew that the outcome would be as such, would i still have been so cheery about leaving negaraku, tanah tumpahnya darahku back in 2005?! now with my application under review, i feel like i'm yet another step further from my country. and i guess i'm not alone in feeling such sentiments - albeit just one other person that i know.

Scene 1: Two friends.
damn sad la i feel like i'm yet another step further away from malaysia =( =( =(
lol me too!
yea WEI
you know
i was just feeling nostalgic about malaysia this morning
End.

SIGH! i feel nostalgic about malaysia nearly every day! especially now that my room is plastered with photographs that remind me of how transient my time spent at home really is. boohoo blubber cry SIGH.

therefore, in order to elevate my feelings to that of a sunshiney day, i shall spam all of you with photographs of my time spent back home! i haven't really put any up (except for the time when i was travelling about msia) because, i dunno, i guess i was partly lazy and partly...







I JUST REALISED A LOT OF PHOTOS AREN'T UPLOADABLE HAHAHAHA plus i'm running short of time so my spam probably isn't gonna be much of a spam. meh. i'll sift through a bit more, when i get the time. bye. I MISS YOU GUYS!