Week 7: Organised chaos.

i have forgotten how to blog. no wait, i remember how to blog; it's the eagerness that i've somehow forgotten. back when i started blogging, i would occasionally churn out up to 3 posts a day! now, trying to write a 1000-word post which does not send the readers to bouts of deep-sleep seem equivalent to climbing up Bukit Gasing (NB. i've never laid eyes on Bukit Gasing let alone climb it..but i heard it's tough as shit. got monkeys wan).

but it's not as though H. erythrogramma has completely taken over my life to the point where my creative juices have run dry*...on the contrary, i've got plenty of thoughts on my mind each waiting in line and clamouring to be heard. the problem is that i just can't seem to translate those thought and bring them to life in the form of the written word.

therefore i have decided that from this moment on (or until whenever i feel like it) i shall write up all my posts in bullet form (or numbers, whichever tickles my fancy on the particular day). it's quite hard to write a coherant post when you have a million thoughts bouncing off your head at once, which is why i've decided that i won't give a shit about something as fucking trivial as continuity and just shoot thoughts off the top of my head.

BEHOLD! glorious number...

1. now i know what hell is like. it is not about flames and pitchforks; it is something more sinister. hell is millions upon millions of urchins and their associated spines with gonopores spewing out billions upon trillions of eggs and sperm all waiting to be fertilised. and also an Olympus dissecting microscope, a long-stemmed glass pipette, a petri dish and a sharp pointy needle like thing (but not as pointy and thicker) attached to a satay stick which i shall call (for now) The Pointer.

2. i don't think i've mentioned this before, but i live just beside the Chinese Embassy in sydney. what with all the bad press that China has been getting lately, i feel it is only right that i come out now and give a kick at China's metaphorical nuts while he/she/it (?) is on the ground. the embassy is shit. instead of relying on shaolin monks, kung-fu practitioners, O-Mei clan women warriors or Wong Fei Hung to defend their honour against the tibetans and falun-gongs...they have resorted to using the AFP (i.e. the Australian Federal Police). WTF?! so uncool.

but just so you know, the falun-gongs and tibetans are my mates.

3. praise the lord i think there is hope for me after the culmination of my degree after all! i shall not have to sleep in a box! apparently maria got paid a quarter of a million in research grants to research on ecotoxicology and that was 10 years back! ok, so you allocate about $30k for equipment and lab-by stuff (new microscopes, waterbaths, pipettes etc) and labour comes in the form of poor unsuspecting Honours' students...and voila! you do the math.

4. sometimes i get so worn-out, tired and depressed when i come home. and in a vaguely melancholic Slyvia Plath Bell Jar kinda way, i want to light tealights, burn scented candles, soak in a bath tub full of warm water and slit my wrists.

5. the price of ham these days is just fucking ridiculous. $22.90/kg...ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!

6. there are days where i feel like i'm a spectator in some Monster Wheels event: watching something crumble in slow motion unstirred and devoid of emotion. and then kate nash's words of wisdom come wafting into mind...believe it or not, there are days when i feel like my fingertips are holding onto the cracks in our foundations and i know that i should forget but i can't. spite?

7. goddamn urchins.

8. the reason why i all my posts are titled Week (insert current number here): Bladibla-bla etcetc is just so that it's easier for me to keep track of how long i've been back in sydney..which effectively equates to how long more before i return home! WOOT!

* yes actually, they HAVE taken over my life. BOO HOO!

Week 7: Can you believe it's already Week 7?!?!

yes, it is already Week 7. i don't really have much to say. this post is just to tell you that i'm well (yea) and still eating right. i've been getting a lot of inspiration from watching Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares and by God, is that man brilliant (culinary- and cussing-wise). and all this inspiration has been translated in the kitchen, much to the delight of my housemate.


i made that after watching one of his episodes dealing with a failing Irish pub. it's damn nice la, if i may say so myself. the only bad thing about it is that there were too many potatoes and not enough beef! and i don't mean the mash potato that you're seeing in the photo (they're under the layer of mash). i got a bit carried away while shucking potatoes.



yea, i know the plums look a bit like dried up ball sacs...but it's damn nice la ok!? if you fancy sugary diabetic-sweetness then ask me for the recipe!!

oh ya, i went for this cruise along the sydney harbour organised by the faculty of anatomy and i met the bishop. i never knew he was so young and he's damn friendly also la! ahh..just thinking about it lifts up my heart and sends my spirit soaring.



1, 3 and 5 = future medical researchers.
2 and 4 = future uncertain.

ok la bye.

Week 5: Bits and pieces.

rain pouring down every ten minutes?
check.
crazy winds?
check.
drawing up the comforter above my already-being-used blanket?
check.
balcony door CLOSED shut?
check.

yes folks, the transition from autumn into winter has already begun...critics (i.e. me) predict that this year will be the coldest winter yet in sydney, judging by the poor performance by summer (pissy rain and low-20degs). which, to me, equals shit. winter brings nothing except dark skies, cold winds and gloomy days. the only good thing about winter is the excuse we so desperately try to brainwash ourselves into accepting: I'm eating this chocolate chip cookie because I need to fatten up to keep myself warm much in the same way as a chipmunk fattens up before hibernation.

so anyway, life is still same-old same-old. i'm still killing urchins. it has come to a point where i've become indifferent and apathetic towards it. now i even weigh the urchin in my palm to gauge whether it'll give me a good lot of eggs or not whilst simulataneously eyeing it sinisterly.

i've been pretty much maxing myself out. i find that it helps abit, to be so tired by the end of the day that the brain just completely switches off. but in order to be THAT tired, i first have to wake up pretty early, then scramble around the lab like a dog...and finally sleep at some really late (early) time, which is usually somewhere between 3 am.

oh. the other day i plucked some hibiscus flowers from outside of the Madsen building after a USIMS meeting and conference. aku ni kan anak malaysia.




fucking thing was about the same size as my head. it is true, you know: everything in australia has to be bigger. and yes, i know the vase is actually a shot glass; i do not have proper vases to accommodate such short stems *cough*.

and i had visitors again!



i have now been dubbed Eskimo Ho (the addition of an 'e' behind the surname is optional). SIGH! why can't people just leave my name alone...

Week 4: Last night's epiphany.

i have pretty much made up my mind. all i need now is courage..

Courage the Cowardly Dog!
zing..!

Week 4: Truly windows of the soul.

sometimes when i accidentally make eye-contact and look into her eyes, i see an incredible sadness and a sense of resignation. it is as if her soul had hollowed out and all that's left is just a shell; going through the motions. when i look into her eyes, i feel as if i too, have lost something very dear to me...something that cannot be regained; be it a memory, someone close, or just a way of how things used to be.

it saddens me terribly, because i remember her as someone carefree and full of spirit. now all i see is someone who is broken. and it amazes yet terrifies me how fast situations can change. just a snap of the finger and she's now a shadow of her former self.

oh, she doesn't show it. outwardly she looks, talks and breathes like how she has been doing for all these times..to someone less observant, the subtle changes within her would have been lost. and i, for one, wouldn't have detected it too, if i had not, by chance, looked into those eyes.

her eyes: they are heavy with sadness. and all i want is to just reassure her that whatever it is, it's gonna be alright.