Week 17: 1:10 a.m. musings.

as much as i hate coming to terms with it, truth is, i have changed. i'm no longer the person i was a year, two years or even five years ago. i like to think that i'm still the same person, unchanged, after all these years but who am i kidding la? i KNOW that i'm so much more cynical now and very wary about everything (even though sometimes i don't show it - i like to keep it under covers, if you get my drift). i'm highly judgemental these days and god knows i'm incredibly doubtful of almost everything and my sense of sarcasm has shot out the roof.

i was never like this. i mean, sure, i was rather sarcastic last time but it wasn't up to the current level. if you wished, it was a rather mellowed version of sarcasm. like lemonade made from real lemons but with a whole kg of sugar poured in (bad analogy, i know).

i've been wondering: does this come with age? or experience? does age and experience combine and concoct a lethal potion of pessimism? why am i so pessimistic sometimes? most times?

but then again, for a pessimist, i'm pretty optimistic (sorry. borrowed that line from Paramore because it's brilliant). i become terribly optimistic at all the wrong situations. sigh.

well...we've officially passed the half-year mark (which was yesterday: 186 days since 1st Jan and another 186 days to go...i checked). things should start looking up. i've only got stats, reading and writing to do. and i'm going down to melbourne in a couple of weeks for a 6-day alcohol and poker bender. PLUS i'll be watching dcfc perform in just a little over a month.

ah.

once upon a time, i was so very happy. now i'm just...qwerty. qwerty? yea, qwerty.

p.s. to the parents: i was just kidding about the 6-day alcohol and poker bender. heh.