Antarctic Week 3: Non-Antarctic related sorry...i'm just ranting.

[EDIT: PHOTOS FROM THE VESTFOLD HILLS DEATH MARCH IS UP...PLEASE SCROLL DOWN FOR SOME DEATH-MARCHY GOODNESS KTHXBYE]

today seems like one of those cold blustery days that were made for sombre and serious reflections, and so i shall. i guess, if you've been reading this site since it's conception, you'd probably have noticed that over the last couple of years, the frequency of postings and overall tone of each post that i've written have been becoming lesser and milder.

oft times i've wondered how this transition managed to creep its way under my skin. perhaps it is because i've been growing up. before this, when i was young and stupid and insensitive (i guess), i'd just fire away words whenever something or someone displeased me. i didn't think of who would be reading my words or the potential impacts it would lead to, and for me, if it made an impact then, well, all the better! it made for interesting reading, i suppose, because everyone delights in gossip and drama anyway (even though we choose to coyly say 'no').

then, something happened that made me stop, and sit back for awhile. suddenly, maybe, i wasn't too comfortable about airing my real thoughts into the great interweb. suddenly, i became all secretive and elusive and hypothetical, writing long round-the-way posts to inadvertantly say what i really wanted to. after awhile, even these vague posts stopped, because i didn't feel like sharing or revealing my inner thoughts anymore. i became super cautious, super careful and super wary of everything i said. if something troubled me, i wouldn't write about it, perhaps because i didn't want to be thought of as 'weak' or that i 'couldn't handle it'.

but you know what? fuck all this shit. from now on, i'm gonna write just whatever i please because life's too fucking short to be agonising over minor details like this. to hell with what other people think. if i want to write about some fucking insensitive asshole that i knew, i'll do just that. if i want to talk about my sex life to all and sundry (i'm being hypothetical here. banyak bawa bertenang, parents), then i'm sorry but you'll just have to be unwilling readers/listeners/whatever la.

ok thanks bye.