Week 11: Grander scheme of things.

if you read newspapers or watch the nightly news programme, you should know that myanmar was recently hit by a cyclone which has pretty much devastated the country. and then, there was also the earthquake in china which happened mere days apart from the first tragedy. so much devastation in such a short time.

so there i was eating my dinner in front of the telly watching the 9.30 world news on SBS and watching the scenes in myanmar unfold, when i was suddenly struck by this overwhelming realisation: here i was sitting with my legs folded up on my lumpy yet comfy couch, eating from a bowl of maggi curry (imported from malaysia - the good stuff) et egg, watercress and tofu-pok (my maggi meals are healthy like that) while at the same time my mind is comprehending images of children dead and floating in the waters in myanmar! and $2 says that they're not only shown dead on telly but they are, at that very moment, dying back there!

if that doesn't put shit into perspective, then i don't think anything will. then i started muttering pianissimo to myself random stuff like 'fuck urchins, what are you doing here BIGGER THINGS ARE AT STAKE!' and then i began to wonder what the consequences would be like if i up and went and told maria that i wanted to put my honours on hold and join Caritas Australia so that i could be a volunteer in myanmar. what would my parents say if i suddenly turned up in front of E112 with a mercy band around my arm going, hey man..i'm back but i'm heading off to myanmar..just to let you know.

would they start screaming at me? or would they pat me on the back?

i mean, what is climate change compared to this?! ok climate change is very important and will have devastating long-term effects but i mean, it's gonna be in the long term whereas the aftermath of this cyclone is now. NOW! that should be first priority right?

ahh..i just realised all the above was just pointless rambling which will ultimately lead to one conclusion i.e. it will be another day for me and the urchins at the byrne lab. sigh...why do i even bother?

. . .

right. ok. let's all just be honest here la ok? in your opinion, do you think i swear too much? and if you answered yes to the first question, does it put you off? i mean, do you go tsktsk each time you chance upon the word fuck littered about my posts? and if you answered yes again (!!!), do you think i should cut back on the swearing because, i mean, we all know what society thinks about girls who swear too much...and it's not good thoughts.

ok la, i need feedback! if you think it's fine and it doesn't bother you, then i won't give a fuck. but if it does, then some soul-searching and reflecting will probably be required on my part. so let me know, cos too many people have been saying that i swear too much BUT they don't say if they're offended or not. it's like, yea you swear a lot now...*crickets chirping in the background*. not helpful at all.

kthxbye.

Week 10: Snail-mail and other bits of randomness.

1. this week i received 2 items from the mail! yes! 2 items! 2 separate individual items! FOR ME!! why am i so happy?! it feels really childish to be so deliriously happy just from receiving snail-mail (note: childish i.e. child-like, not the immature throwing tantrums kinda childish)...but i love it! thanks ren-ren, they DO look like fish! and i was proudly showing it off to gen too and i didn't even mention anything about it looking like fish and she went..

"ooh! looks like fishes in the ocean!"

and yea kailan, i love you too MUACKSS!

2. it has been top gear and pedal to the metal for me for the past 2 weeks. i've never felt so completely worn out...honestly, whoever said honours was relaxing easy-peasy research stuff work ought to be hung, drawn and quartered! in a perverted way though (note: not sexual perversion but rather an anomaly of what is perceived as normal behaviour), i'm actually finding such work-related fatigue welcoming. it helps put my mind off things i'd rather not deal with or think about. or rather, my mind is so occupied during the times when i'm at work that it blocks out all other thoughts.

3. however, one train of thought that refused to be blocked out was the lyrics to Skeeter Davis' End of The World. regardless of whether i'm filtering seawater, spawning urchins or counting larvae, i am perpetually humming that tune soundlessly in my head. the only reason why i should know this song is because i grew up listening to my mom singing it. it amazes me how after 15 years i can still remember the lyrics word for word and now i fully understand the meaning behind it.

4. i'm turning 22 soon! help me la i don't feel like turning 22(note: when i say i don't feel like i mean i don't want to - not i don't feel 22 and stubbornly insist that i feel younger)!

5. last night, the mother of all pimples sprouted on my right cheek over my cheekbone. it's damn fucking pain la! ROAR! i've never had a pimple this size before and i can't for the life of me figure out what i could've eaten to produce this mfucker. it's damn freaky ok?! the core of the pimple itself is damn hard and sharp. and then the flesh surrounding the pimple feels sorta hard too AND ALSO FEELS DAMN HOT! classic symptoms of infection. AND it's damn itchy la OMG i really want to scratch it but cannot ARGH!

so i was entertaining myself with the idea that it might actually be a spider bite and not a pimple (because it's fucking huge la!)...and if so, i might end up having a really bad infection which would need corrective/plastic surgery. and if that ever happens, i'll probably ask the doctor to fix up my nose (note: make it sharper and more pointy) and my eyes (note: make it bigger). if i could, i'd tell him to get rid of my square jaw and give me a more tapered ovallish-shaped face, but then that would require him shaving off parts of my jawbone, and you and i both know that's not plausible because i wouldn't have enough money to pay for it sigh.

Week 9: Happy Birthday Ren-ren!

who would've thought that the gimrama girl i met in OBS who also did SAM in Taylor's College whom i remembered seeing around because i was going down the stairs one day and she was in front of me carrying her gimrama hoop in a carry 'pouch'/bag and i thought to myself in a very kaypoh manner..WOW HULA HOOP! would turn out to be one of my closest friends yet?!

ok that was a super long sentence.



every time i see old photos of us, i get this rush of memories and all i can do is giggle to myself quietly (can't giggle too loud la later gen thinks i'm nuts) about all the good times we had...like bruising kevin's nose with a slipper, for instance..HAHAHA!



you've always been the one i looked up to because by god, can you run and every time i'm left eating your dust when we do our pre-course morning jogs i think to myself BY ZEUS when i grow up i want to be able to run just like Karen! *shy* and not just your running skillzz ok but also your level headedness and how you can remain calm and give really good advice to a frantic schizo like me.



it's amazing to think that i've known you since you were 18 and now you're turning 22! and the most incredible thing is that i've only seen you 3 out of every 12 months for every year that i've known you! another case of a successful LDR man..HAHAHAHA!

anyway, i shall refrain from rambling further.
i hope you have a fantastic and a very

Happy 22nd Birthday

today and that Dennis will spoil you silly!

heartHEARTheart!!

Week 9: What a way to start the week, eh?

[Edited: i've gone back to black because, for some reason or other, white is giving me a massive headache each time i stare at it. and i think black is fitting for the current occasion *inside joke that no one is laughing at*. anyway i can't be fucked re-editing my photos because as you can all see now, they were adjusted to fit into a white background! unless i have a lot of spare time (which i don't!), i'll prolly not do anything about it. so yea, cheers to a more sombre atmosphere!]

i've finally collected enough points to write another post yippee! actually, there is a lot going on for me at the moment; some things which i may write about someday, other things which i do not care for putting down in words. anyway, presenting number..

1. it is well and truly pre-winter now (not as cold and miserable as winter, yet cold and miserable enough). if you have been a reader way back when this blog began, you would know how much i loath cold and winter. LOATH. for 3 months i will be unhappy, grouchy, miserable, snappish and depressed. but in the midst of all these misery, this winter i shall have one happy spot of sunshine!

behold, my very cheerful black trenchcoat!




2. following up on the topic that is shitty sydney weather...

the title for the most temperamental, fucked up and PMS-like being in the whole wide universe goes to sydney weather! hurrah! a fortnight ago, every single day (and i mean monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday sunday EVERY SINGLE DAY) was cold, wet, windy and full of doom and gloom! the whole two weeks i seriously beh tahan, all i wanted to do was crawl under my comforter and sleep away the months till september arrived. and then, suddenly the whole of last week was all bright and sunshine-y! oh my god la, what the fuck is going on?! why so like that wan!?!

any melbournians care to contradict and claim the title for their own fair city? i know how the weather can be there too..i was/am a survivor!

3. two heartbreaks for two hearts broken. i think we're even now, karma.

4. there was much morbidity and talks of bath tubs and wrist-slitting between me and yunnie which might have misled some people into thinking that i was suicidal or depressed. anyway, contemplating about suicide and death is one thing, but actually being very nearly in a situation like that is another completely different matter.

today when i was crossing the road while walking to uni, i nearly got hit by a car that managed to stop on time. the driver of the holden commodore then proceeded to give me the death stare while blaring his carhorn at me. all i could think of was...oh, there's the light follow the light mel! anyway, i don't want to die yet la! i still have damn a lot of things to accomplish ok!? like, getting married *virginal blush* and wearing a long white strapless gown and throwing my wedding bouquet so that some unsuspecting girl friend of mine will catch it and we can all tease her about how she's getting married next!!!

so yea, no plans on dying yet.

5. this is the un-unabridged version of the story:

i bought a brand new pair of heels. 2 days later i flew back to kl. wore said pair of heels one night at somo. left it at the back of my kelisa. fast forward a week later. picked up people for a yum cha session. while leaving the car, someone kicked one side of my heel out of the car and on to the road. next morning, father of the house found the shoe and chucked into tong sampah. hell ensued and waterworks followed. shoe repaid. i flew home.

there you go. hope you got the message. anyway, i was walking about pitt street on friday and i saw the same shoe but with a 30% discount of the original price!! needless to say, i'm a very very HAPPY girl.




6. msn conversation of the day (actually it was last night).

Daniel L says:
u owned a house
with a few problems
but its still your house

susu-atari says:
yea
a few leaks here and there
and a broken roof tile
nothing too major that couldn't be fixed
until the termites got into the structure!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHA

7. i did it. just like how you told me i should. but why am i still feeling terrible?

8. today was a brilliant day. bright sunshine. blue skies. not a cloud in the sky. my eyes saw but my brain could not comprehend. WHY? hello world, it's me again.