Last.

So I'm about 90% done with packing and yet there's this feeling that I should be stuffing in so much more mingled with indifference. I know what I need to bring with me yet I don't really know what I ought or ought not to bring. Confusing? My mind's mentally ticking off a list..clothes check, shoes check, carved wooden box from Bali check, hammock check...eh?

Sigh...I've done this so many times I should be quite pro at it. Yet I still feel like I'm at a lost.

Sorry for drowning you in all this emo shit but I think returning back to Sydney this time around has upped in its degree of seriousness. I'm in third year, shit! Not only am I facing my (possible) final year, I've got to decide whether or not to start applying for a PR status. Stress sial because I have no idea how the application process and points systems etc goes even though I've heard HY talk about it since when we were in first year. I never really paid attention to it as I was certain that I'd be returning to Malaysia after I graduate...but after enduring much military-styled onslaught of brainwasherism from my parents, aunties, uncles, father's golf friends, mother's church ladies, doctor who treated my case of food-poisoning and just random people walking along the street I have decided that, yes, maybe I should stay and root myself in Sydney after all. I mean, logically speaking, if EVERYONE's saying it, there's gotta be some truth in it, right?

"Tell your daughter to stay in Sydney and don't come back."
Oh, how I hate thee, verse.

Obviously career-wise, Australia is able to offer a greater variety compared to Malaysia. When people ask me what or where I want to work in if I do choose to come home, all I can think of is Aquaria, Langkawi (which is a really REALLY good idea, actually), or saving the turtles in Terengganu, which frankly I don't mind at all. And then they go on to say..."but the pay not good leh!"

Fuck la, I'm happy with my Kelisa and I don't really care if I'm driving it around till Kingdom comes. It's all about job satisfaction. But I can't really tell that to my elders now, can I?

"Tell your daughter to stay in Sydney and don't come back."
Shut up, la.

You must think that I'm quite stupid to still want to remain here. But frankly, all my friends who I've already forged deep bonds with are here. My family is here. My house is here. My darling little cutesy car is here. Outward Bound is here. The mamak stalls and mango specials are here. Maison and Luna Bar is here. The lifestyle which I've grown accustomed to for the last 20 years will always and only be found here. Until I lose everything and have nothing to come back for, then I shall stay put in wherever and not come back.

"Tell your daughter to stay in Sydney and don't come back."
Yea yea, fuck you too tell your daughter to don't come back too.

ANYWAY.

I can't believe how fast 3 months went by. Thank you so much to everyone who came out to layan me. Thanks for all the memories and the pictures which I've stored in my laptop and which have consumed 1.67 GB of memory..heavy shit. Thanks for all the laughter and jokes and good times and GREAT times. No need to name names la cos you know who you are...to me!

Here goes the final post for this summer...I'll be seeing most of you real soon! Promise. November. Even if I have to float on my back and swim through shark infested waters...I'll get myself home.

HUH!

Ok better get back to packing. I have a sinking feeling that I may already be over the weight limit. Sucks.

p.s. I just realised that I intended to write this post up in a way to express the resignation I have allowed myself to adopt about staying in Sydney and applying for a PR status but then it turned out to be another 'Bang all the people who say that I should stay in Sydney' kinda post. What the hell just happened?

Damn, my rebellious side. You're good.