I want to cry from the sheer absurdity of it all...but i can't. Right this moment, it all seems like a cosmic joke to me, and i'm the one being laughed at.

The fourth time amounted to nothing. As always.

I have decided to give up. There's no point in pursuing the impossible or the unattainable. It is like travelling down a road that you KNOW is wrong but refusing to make a u-turn to go back to the point where everything was still clear. And you keep travelling down the wrong road telling yourself that you've come so far, why give up now? Just press on, there might be another by-way that will lead you to your destination. And you just go on and on and on...oblivious to everything else.

One-tracked mind.

It would have been so much easier if a u-turn was made right at the very second when you knew you were taking the wrong road. You save time. You save energy.

The fourth time amounted to nothing. Stop leaving me in a lurch, please.