Two roads diverged.

it is STUVAC now..(STUdy VACation) and suddenly i'm hit with the realisation that i've just completed my second year of university education. come 2007 and i'll be a final year student. here's the part where i go...now, hang on a minute..

it still seems really surreal. it still feels as though i've just arrived in Sydney. it still feels as though i'm a freshie in Sydney University. but now, here i am staring down the barrel of final-year-student-life. what happened to time?

i remember the opening speech the vice-chancellor of Sydney Uni gave to us international students during our very first day of Orientation. he said, 'University life will be the best times of your life'. and subsequently many people have expounded that belief to me too. however, i don't feel as though it IS the best time of my life. to me, it's just lukewarm. i have to admit that it there has been fun times. and weird times. but there were also many stressed-out times. and brain-numbing times.

and living so far away from the hub of all that excitement, sort of kills the mood for me too. ever since coming here, i've evolved from someone who did not really care about studies and whose main priority was just to pass the exams to someone who's a certified nerd. i've never studied so hard before as i'm studying now. and here i thought that the opposite should be happening..you know?

the beer-drinking aspects. the clubbing aspects. the sleeping-in-till-late aspects. the going-out-for-coffee-in-the-evenings aspects. partying, socialising, experiencing what life and independance is all about. all this did not happen to me. ok, i'm bitter. i'm bitter because i missed out on all the above due to the fact that i'm living with my relatives far away from the city. far away from all the above.

if i had one wish, i'd wish for another chance to do my whole university thing all over again. i'd never want to live in 5 Ruth Place. NEVER.

but as one road is chosen over the other, there's no way of turning back...and you can't stare down the road not chosen thinking how good it would've been (although that's what i've been doing a lot over the past 9 months). you can only stare down the road not chosen and wonder how DIFFERENT it would've been.

not good. maybe not good. but different.

definitely different.