Damn Malaysian Drivers.

I lied. I take back every single thing that i said about Malaysian drivers. Cousin, you were right. Malaysian drivers ARE retarded. okok...make that, MOST of the Malaysian drivers ARE retarded.

The thing is, i finally got my full licence back yesterday, and attempted to tackle KL driving today...i know i know, that was very brave of me...and all went well, except for a few minor and not-so-minor mishaps.

Minor Mishap #1:
While i was driving down to Bangsar and was near the tollbooth on the highway leading to Federal Highway (Elaine tried to be helpful and said.."There the 50sen wan"..) this humongous stupid Yellow Storm started muscling me and tried to cut into my lane and simultaneously pushing me towards this lorry. For a split second, i thought, "Uhoh..this is it"...

Luckily nothing happened.

I hope your tyres burst and a rock hits your windshield while you're driving you moron.

Minor Mishap #2:
Motorbikes. I've just realised the fact that motorcyclists do not give a damn about you or your car. ok...maybe i knew it since 1000 years ago...but now, it seems all the more apparent. Damn you motorcyclists. Count your lucky stars that we drivers feel obligated to watch out for you, not because we're afraid of killing someone on the road, but because do you know how hard it is to try to get blood stains out of the paint job and cushion-seats (applies only when windows are down) ??

Damn you motorcyclists...may your bike die on you one day in a lonely secluded stretch of highway and then some pontianak will come and do away with you...MUAHAHAHA.

Minor Mishap #3:
The indicators on your car are meant for INDICATING WHERE YOU WANT TO GO MORON! it's not for telling people to watch out for you during a thunderstorm...which is also wrong because you CANNOT put on your hazard lights when you're travelling in a storm goddammit.

To all those cars who swerved, overtook, cut into my lane at the very last minute and just being plain old stupid...i hope one day you'll truly want to use your indicators and then you'll find that they are malfunctioned due to constant neglect and disuse...mymy...won't you be crying to hear the comforting 'tictoctictoc' of the orange signal lights then??

Damn you.

Not-So-Minor-Mishap #4:
While i was travelling back from the Connaught Pasar Malam tonight...this DUMB SILVER KELISA just went and cut right in front of me whilst i was turning into a junction and i bloody hell would've knocked straight into him...(i say him not because i'm a sexist but because the driver was a bloody MALE)..stupid little effing TWERP! and he had the audacity to turn around and stare at me. Well...EFF YOU, YOU MORON!!

and to make matters worse...because i was so shook up, i think i accidentally knocked the gear in to Neutral and didn't know it so when i stepped on the accelerator...all i heard was this loud revving off the engine...bloody hell right in the middle of the freaking T-Junction.

I'm gonna be mean..i hope you get involved in an accident and escape unharmed but may your car be mangled beyond repair. IDIOT.

damn it...Melanie Ho never gets bullied...i need to get my Driving Mo-Jo back in to action. this cannot be tolerated any longer.

Damn you Malaysian Drivers. and before you start getting all smart and saying,

"Why Melanie, i thought you said the next person to criticize Malaysian driving gets a punch on the head??"...

well...i admit i was wrong and you can punch my head if you want only and only if you can find me. BOO!

*offer valids until i regain my mo-jo.