one.
for you.

i was the ear whence you poured your grievances into.
but when my heart was akin to lead, my sorrow filled this cup.
it is not half empty. it is not half full.
my sorrow, it runs over.
because you were not there.

i was the smile that tried to turn your frown around.
but when my laughter cracked, it splintered into a thousand pieces.
and those pieces became microscopic.
obeying the rule of the wind, they fly away and are swept under the rug.
because you were not there.

i was the positive always trying to neutralise your negative.
but when my hope began to slip, it plunged into the abyss.
no rope over the edge. no helping hand.
it falls, never meeting the bottom.
because you were not there.

i was the dreamer while you were reality personified.
but when my dreams turned to nightmares, the visions seem to last forever.
tossing and turning. fear turning to tears.
it feels like there's no end, but the end is near.
because Band of Horses whispered into my ear,

"The end's not near, it's here."

two.
for me.

i waited for you. but to no end. and as i lie here, the falling darkness spreads its tendrils around me, surrounding me, enveloping me. i know the obligations have ended but it was somehow always unspoken: when i needed you, you were always there. so where have you gone?

the glare blinds my eyes. the words from the song that pound through my ears change and whispers.

your friend has this place part
with someone dear to your heart
did she steal
or was it an act of free will?

three.
for you and i.

no, we were not the best match.
you sipped your flat white while i poured sugar into my tea.

no, we never had the same tastes.
my world was filled with colours while you buried yourself in shades of black, blue and white.

no, we were not made for one another.
you are not the words that spill from my works of fiction. i am not the numbers you have tallied.

no, we don't have each other.
i am here and you are there, always out of my reach, in all instances, every single time.

no, we were not the perfect two.
my lofty ideals could never meet your grounded and pragmatic realism.

but i like to believe that despite these differences, we once laughed together. Because The Cardigans whispered to me and said,

"If you live you will learn."