Antarctic Week I-cannot-remember-and-cbfed: Thoughts on leaving.
a most curious thing happened to me the other day. i found myself packing and taping up a box containing some books, photo frames and miscellanous items of clothing to be sent home on the third voyage out of davis. do not be alarmed though, i'm not returning on the third voyage, but rather, my stay in antarctica has been extended till the very end of the season (i.e. returning home on voyage 4).
anyway, back to that box - it struck me as a little humourous how, once again, i'm packing up my belongings to be shipped off to somewhere else. it feels like i've just arrived on the continent, but already the season is winding up, and in a little over a month's time, i will be back in the real world. and if i hadn't extended my stay right up till V4, i would've been packing up everything and not just mere books, photo frames and the like!
i've always known that time passes fast, but the speed at which it is passing me by is somewhat frightening! my adventure of a lifetime is drawing to a rapid close and i am beginning to feel a little reluctant about leaving all this behind me and only having memories to hold by. i know i still have a good 5-6 weeks left before i, too, leave on the aurora, and i guess i'll just have to make the most of it.
but honestly, after living here for 2.5 months now, it's starting to feel very much like home, just because everything is so routine and familiar. i'm beginning to wonder if i'll have any 'withdrawal' symptoms when i leave davis. i mean, i know everyone here, and everyone knows me. each of us have a very specific role in this little community, and in a weird way, we all feel as though we have a purpose in this environment. i don't think i've mentioned this before, but being in antarctica feels very much like being on an extended stay in OBS. perhaps that's why i like it so much here - the people and the social environment anyway (god forbid, i will NEVER grow accustomed to 20knot winds, although the temperature doesn't really faze my anymore). this must've been how living in Jonestown felt like, except more alcohol and drunken laughy boozy nights, and not so much crazed cult leader, cyanide poisoning and mass suicide.
i guess the reason why i'm feeling slightly apprehensive about leaving is that i'd lose that sense of purpose and role that i currently have now on station. here, i am someone. but when i return to sydney, i will once again be absorbed back into a community of a million nameless souls, and once again, be anonymous again.
there are so many things that i will be leaving behind on station when i return to australia, and i am not ready for that yet. so, should i keep running and hiding in the vestfold hills until the Aurora has no choice but to sail home without me? DISCUSS.
posted by ..melanie.. @ 8:11 PM
4 comments
4 Comments:
yes you do have a role and purpose when you're back to the real world...which is tani tani and tani and get abby and tp drunk! ahahha...
LOL thanks for helping me put that into perspective..sayang you my kawan!
Cousin tam tam is here to discuss!!! yeeay!
I think it's so awesome that you're staying til the end of the season. Does everybody you've met leave as well? I guess the sad thing is, that even if you return you may not be with the same people, so even when you miss it, you're not going to be able to return to the same thing anyway (unless they all return at the same time!!!).
The best thing that will make things feel better is that you have something (possible trip back home) and more importantly, someone to look forward to seeing!!!!!! (i.e. me..... hahahah joking joking...)
PS: Why have i not heard anything of my cheki since your arrival on the big ice? Has it not been used? Did it break? I haven't used yours cos it's not reliable (i.e. big black thingy in my way).
tam: yea, most of the summerers whom i've spent the whole season with on station will be on the ship as we leave. but i guess, being here for 4 months and all, it really grows on you. and i guess i'm sad cos the odds of me seeing these people again are slim relatively to none! and also, i'll be leaving some really good friends i've made here, who are the wintering crew on station.
AH yea i hope more adventures await me when i get back. and your cheki is safe. i haven't had a chance to use it cos i have limited film and don't want to waste them! but it's working, i've taken a few photos so far. can't scan them on to the interweb cos there's no colour scanner on station, so you'll just have to wait.
HEY! when you go to japan, buy me another cheki plus film ya? thanks.
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