The third day.

Hello there. Another year has drawn to an end and little did you know that you’ve been reading my thoughts for nigh on 4 years now. All this while, I’ve tried to be as frank as I could with my writing. If I am happy, troubled or angry, you would surely be able to tell. However, in the past year I have not been as forthcoming about my feelings as I used to be. I know I’ve been blogging less – a large part of it by will, mainly because I was reluctant and wary as to how much of me I should be exposing to public scrutiny. However, it was also mostly due to time constraints as well as an inadequacy to appropriately put to words and sentences the exact emotions I was going through.

I'm not gonna lie: I am actually quite glad to put 2008 behind me. Never have I ever felt so eager to see the end of a particular year; to close and seal under lock and key yet another chapter of my life.

Was 2008 bad to me? No, not really. It wasn't as though the stars, signs and the entire cosmos ganged up upon me to ensure that I had bad luck all year round. Rather, it was more my own actions and the decisions I made and the choices accepted and the roads I chose to take that led me to where I am now: Happy to forget it all and to start a new year with a new outlook and a fresh beginning.

If I were to sum up last year, I would say that I oscillated between manic frenzy and despair, with the occasional rare bursts of cheery happiness. I think I bit off more than I could chew. I think I heaped too much on my plate than it could contain. I think I placed too much faith into something that, deep down inside, I knew was futile. I think my judgment was completely out of whack. I think I should've taken some time off to just breathe and THINK instead of constantly being in a state of pedal-to-the-metal-and-go-go-GO. I think I should have stopped when I had the chance.

I think last year would have been infinitely less stressful and painful for me if a sequence of events didn't happen and if I hadn't done what I chose to do. But I did, and at the end of the day, that's all that it comes to: accepting the consequences of your actions.

Maybe I'll be smarter in 2009. I hope you guys had a good year and a good new year's eve celebration. Someone once told me that the person whom you saw the old year out and the new year in with would be around with you for the rest of the year. It didn't work for me but I hope it works for you! Let me know when December '09 rolls in.