Week 40: I am the Sperminator.

there is currently a running joke in the lab about how yours truly is a sperm expert with extensive experience after having handled sperm from 5 different species even though i am still a virgin!

bada-bish! show's over, guys!

anyway, let's talk about sex. HAHA! among my circle of friends in sydney (i mean, australian friends and not malaysian friends who are currently in australia - although now that i think about it, it might apply for both circles too HMMMMMMMMMMM), i play the role of the token young and naive greenhorn when it comes to sexual matters. all my friends are sexperts and they do not hesitate to tell me about it. and that's ok. i really don't care. as the token greenhorn, i listen and nod and question, as is my role to do.

case in point, tonight i had dinner with my current housemate (must say current or ex in order to minimise confusion, oh hello gen!) and a friend of hers. somehow through the course of the night, the topic of boys and the things they can do cropped up. so i listened and tried to feign interest all the while plying them with the usual 'umm's and 'ahh's interlaced with a laugh, a muffled giggle or a roll of the eyes. ya, i may be no sexpert, but i am pretty good at letting people think that i am 'one of them'.

however, what i find incredibly strange but extremely amusing is the reaction they have when they find out that i am still, ah how to put it, whole. this one guy in my lab, who incidentally started the above-mentioned joke, thought i was crazy. his first question was WHY?! followed by HOW CAN YOU NOT!? and so, to heighten the amusement that i was undoubtedly feeling at that point, i kept egging him on by being nonchalant about it. which drove him further to the brink of insanity. needless to say, we've had many a lively discussions about (insert serious voice) Sex: How Young Is Too Young?

to be honest, sex doesn't really interest me HAHAHA! no it's true. well, ok sure, i do get a rush of excitement when i see my boyfriend (when i had one), or when i touch his arm, or when we kiss but that never translates to actually wanting to do the dirty. reason 1: i'm deathly afraid of falling pregnant and ya ya ya you can say, but there's condom ma and birth-control pills and after-morning pills and IUD and the coitus interruptus but WHATEVER! everytime i even remotely think about sex i picture britney spears after which calm and order ensues. just take a look at her, she was a fucking trainwreck after she fell pregnant. reason 2: i have no money to spend on contraception and the likes. i'd rather spend my parents' hard-earned money on alcohol (yes i love alcohol SURPRISE but i am not an alcoholic) or food or clothes or whatever la. my daddy does not slave under the hot sun and breathe in wood chips and sawdust just so that his daughter can buy condoms. he slaves under the hot sun and breathes in wood chips and sawdust just so that his daughter can buy pretty dresses HAHAHA true story. reason 3: i'd rather do other things like watch tv, or sleep, or shopping, or read a book, or err..whatever la. reason 4: lazy la.

but then again, i'm not saying that sex is bad. the whole point is since i've never experienced it so i don't know how good it is even if people keep telling me it's fucking awesome (bada-bish!). so maybe if i finally come around to having sex i might switch camps and start advocating about how good it is and blablabla but until then, i will remain apathetic. meh.

don't let this deter you from talking to me about your sex life though HAHAHAH! i'm always here if you need an ear.

p.s. reasons 1 - 4 do not apply if James McAvoy, Gael Garcia Bernal or Daniel Wu is in the picture.