More Frost.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long as I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

with the end of my undergraduate years come talks of Honours. most of you may already know this: i've been offered 2 honours projects which are on two complete ends of the spectrum. and this difference extends not only in terms of subject choice, but also in a geographical sense.

project 1: the effects of climate change and the impact of ocean acidification on the calcareous skeletons of echinoderm and molluscan larvae.
a brief background - the world is warming up, and with warmer waters come increased acidification levels in our oceans because more carbon dioxide is able to dissolve into the water. increased acidification spells doom for the most vulnerable of all marine organisms: larvae of invertebrate marine species. these larvae have extremely fragile calcareous shells which will most probably come into jeopardy under said rising acid levels because (1) they will dissolve and (2) will have a harder time to form new shells.

essentially, what i'll be doing is manipulating acid levels in the lab to determine what the threshold of acid levels is acceptable before everything grinds to a halt. yes. i'll be melting little baby shells. but it's for the greater good.

if i take up this offer, i'll be having Maria Byrne as my supervisor and she's one of the nicest people i've ever met. furthermore, it'll be in USYD so added glamour and prestigiousness to the degree (you'll understand what i mean later). plus, i've also been offered a scholarship to do this project with her: nothing major, but still, a scholarship.

project 2: the effects of green turtle grazing on seagrass and algal reefs.
i actually don't even know what the significance of this project will be, but hey, there are turtles. and algal reefs. need i say any more? I LOVE TURTLES!

though, if i take up offer #2, i'll have to relocate to Townsville, Northern Queensland. this is because the university involved is James Cook University. JCU is definitely renowned for marine science in Australia, however, it is still not as prestigious and as widely known (and accepted) as, say, an Honours degree from USYD...this being because it is still a relatively new campus.

Then took the other, as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

this is where the dilemma starts.

personally, my heart is tending towards accepting the Townsville offer. this being because i'll be able to work with turtles! i mean, come on, TURTLES! i've been absolutely fascinated with them since i was a wee little kid and a proud owner of at least 10 terrapins, of which 5 successfully made it to an adult age (HAHA..! eh dun laugh la, i was damn sad when they died ok?). less prestige aside, if i take up this offer, i'll be doing something that i am truly interested in and will probably be loving every single moment of the whole 10 months. furthermore, being in sydney for the past 3 years have driven this itch within me to move on from this place. i feel like i've seen and done everything that sydney can possibly offer and i'd just like to start over some place new...some place like Townsville. admittedly, it's not even close to being like Sydney, or even Kajang for that matter, but it'll be warm (think 24degsC in winter) and i'll be near the great barrier reef AND the nothern tropical rainforests. also, relocating to townsville will lessen the economic burden. by a lot.

HOWEVER

if i do remain with USYD, i'll have a scholarship to my name, finally. call me kiasu or whatever, but since i was a kid, my mom has been telling me to get a scholarship and go to oxford. well, oxford's well and truly out of my league now (HAHAHA!) but at least i can still fulfil her wish of having a scholarship under my belt! and, a scholarship from USYD is something, no matter how tiny it is. and of course, the whole issue of prestigiousness comes back into play. USYD is a member of the Group of 8 in Australia and is pretty much recognised worldwide. and even if it's not recognised worldwide, having a degree from USYD would give me some backing power when i'm applying for a job in this country...just because it is USYD.

also, this project is dealing with climate change. and since it's the current craze sweeping the world, having an honours project involved in climate change will potentially open many doors for me. logically, it is THE project. AND, if i take up this offer, not only will i have the scholarship from USYD but my project and all its workings will be funded by the Australian Research Council (ARC)...this being because Maria has just received a grant of a highly substantial amount from them. therefore...

name? check.
funding? check.
highly relevant honours project and not one solely based on interest? check.

logically? i shouldn't even need to think twice about this. screw the indecision.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

and so now...i'm in a pickle of what i should do. if we disregard the education factor in the equation, what you essentially have is me wanting to break free from here and start new, with new adventures and new experiences. in all truth, sometimes i feel as though i've stagnated in the waters that is Sydney. moving to Townsville will be the perfect opportunity to regain whatever restless-ness i have left in me. the Great Barrier Reef, the Daintree Rainforest, new people, new dynamics, new environment.

yet, moving out of the familial homestead and living out in the city has resulted in some changes. in this past year, my relationship with my coursemates have improved greatly. before, we were just friends, you know...the non-comittal type. this was because i used to live so far away from the city that i'd rarely if ever join them on their outings. but since moving out, i've been indoctrinated into the inner circle...and i must say that it has been fun. i've gotten really close to a few of them, and when i told them about me leaving sydney, there were a few objections voiced...which made me go all AAWWW! and also (and i'm not implying anything so stop speculating), there is currently a very strong Staying-Factor currently in sydney...to which i will allude to nothing, except to say that it is a very very VERY strong Staying-Factor indeed.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I
I took the one less travelled by
And that has made all the difference.

so here i am, torn between the devil (HAHAHA and you don't know how TRUE this is) and the deep blue sea (i.e. the GBR la).

i know if i choose whichever one over the other i will definitely feel a tinge of regret at some point in time post-choice. and it's true...we make choices everyday and rarely do we ever get to return to rectify it if it does not turn out to be what we'd wanted it to be. already i am on the road less travelled by taking up marine science. and with this added parameter...it just serves to muddle things up even more.

if it were up to you, what would you have done?