Dumb nasal appendage...

Anyone who knows me will have, at one point in time, had

(a) commented on my flat nose
(b) been too polite to comment, but still thought about my flat nose
(c) heard me lament non-stop about my flat nose

well, if you didn’t fall into any of the above categories before, well, congratulations, you’ve just been grouped into Category C.

I have a flat nose. I don’t understand why. Ever since I was a kid, I’ve always wondered why my nose was so flat. The moment I understood what plastic surgery was, I told my mom that I’ll ‘go fix my nose’. Every time I look into a mirror, all I see is my flat nose. It’s horrible, makes me feel awful and inferior to anyone and everyone with a decently sharp or high nose. and over time i've developed this compulsive behaviour to pull at my nose bridge in vain hope that one day it'll be higher and sharper.

ARGH!

Therefore over the years, I’ve come up with millions of reasons why my nose is so flat.

1. I fell down when I was a baby and broke my nasal bone thus resulting in a flat nose.
2. Someone punched me in kindergarten and I’ve not recovered since.
3. My parents both have equally flat and roundish noses…therefore
(flat) x (flat) = flat^2 … how can you beat that? It explains everything.

SIGH…

Therefore, also, I’ve come out with 101 reasons why having a flat nose is better...it makes me feel better...

1. When you fall down on your face, it doesn’t hurt as bad, say, if you had a really sharp and high nose.

2. You have a marvelous asset that acts as an ice-breaker… ‘Hi! I’m Melanie. I can do some wonderful things with my nose…see?’ *presses nose down till it becomes flat and parallel to face contour*

3. It doesn’t hurt as much if someone pinches your nose.

4. No one will have high expectations of you to actually win the next Miss Universe title…so you’re free from the pressure.

5. Peeling off the stupid Biore Pore pack is less painful, because your soft flexible flat nose is better able to contort to the stupid thing.

6. No one will ever say that you’re snooty or ‘Berhidung tinggi’ (snobbish in malay-actual translation mean ‘high nose’) because if they did say it, it would make completely no sense.

7. You have an excuse to put more make-up on… ‘I’m just trying to make my nose look pointy-er!!’ … not that I put make-up though…

8. Chances of winning a boxing match would be in your favour, because flat noses absorb the impact of a smash to the face better than a high nose.

9. Even if you don’t box, you can still snigger at the guy whose nose just got smashed…there’s another flat nose to join the club… nyeknyek..

10. Due to constant pulling at the nose bridge in vain attempts to make it ‘higher’ your nose will
be fairly clean of blackheads…because you’d have pulled it all out by the time…either intentionally or otherwise.

11. Believe it or not, some people actually find it cute…so there you go, another point for the flat-nosers…

Ok…I know I said 101 reasons, but due to my flat nose inhibiting my hormones from functioning properly and hence appropriate signals cannot be sent to the brain, you’ll have to be contented with just 11 reasons… I’ll try to think up another 90. No worries, us flat-nosers are VERY determined individuals.


Compare the pair:

Nearly the same age...
Has 25% of same genes...
Both are asian...
Both are females...

Now...look at the noses...Aaahh...revelation and proof at it's most glorious...