Week 32: 19 more days!

[EDIT: did i say that it was 19 days till the finish line? well, gosh dang blimey holy shit i had my numbers all wrong! it's now back up to 23 days! my coordinator decided to play santa-came-early and generously gave us another whole week to write up!

don't get me wrong (but i can tell that you're starting to) but i just don't know whether to be happy or to cry. on the one hand, i have a full week to tidy up my thesis and to hand in something that would actually be credible! but on the other hand, i could already taste/smell/see the finish line and had everything planned out for post-submission (re: NOTHING!). it feels like someone's buying me a jug of long island but then that benevolent someone tripped and BOOM! long island, meet the floor.

so close yet so fucking far ARGH!]

[EDIT: i really do think that 'some pariah kiasu wannabe overachiever' is possibly the best 5 words i've strung together this whole year! it is unbelievably brilliant i want to shout it out loud while i'm walking about and at the same time plaster it all over the sky!]

just like how i've been cleaning out my room, i've decided to tidy up a bit of my sidebar because it was starting to get a bit cluttered. gone are the links to non-functional blogs. also given the boot was the ultra-feminist quote from gloria steinum (whoever you may be) which i paraded back in first year because i thought it was cool.

it was cool then, ok? stop giving me grief about it.

another old-timer who will be missed is the thing (classification: unsure) that adjectified Melanie as 'Benevolent to a fault'...which is still oh so true even though i wish it weren't so, HAHAHA!

anyway, i'm 3 weeks shy of submission and i'm at the stage where i just, really, don't give a shit anymore. sure, i'm still typing and doing my experiments with much vigour and earnestness. however, the passion and drive that was there half a year ago is now nowhere to be seen. i have been turned into a marine sciencetology robot. all i want to do now is to produce a respectable thesis and then crawl into bed, turn the tv on and watch reruns of Friends while eating a bowl of toasted muesli with dried fruits and vanilla yoghurt (the best thing thus far, if i may say so myself).

yes, toasted muesli is helping me to keep sane. who'd ever have thought, huh?!

anyway, i've been doing a lot of thinking. and it just dawned on me as i walked through some sprinklers whilst crossing the St. Johns field: i'm losing the plot and losing my ideals. who cares if i don't get a 1st class?? no one, that's who. all this while, my motto has been: asalkan tak fail, cukup. but this whole year i've been behaving like some pariah kiasu wannabe overachiever. no one gives a shit, and just by being in the honours programme i'm one step ahead of other science graduates AND i'm guaranteed a no-fail.

so, kau stress kat sini buat aper??? baik pergilah tido lepas tuh esok pergi coles belilah toasted muesli tuh macam yang hanne tengah makan. jangan lupa beli yoghurt tau?